#1
Here's a song I wrote while I was reading 1984 by George Orwell. It's written from the point of view of a freedom fighter who lives under an opressive, totalitarian government.

It would be more of an intro track than anything else, with relatively fast-paced music in the style of Rise Against or some melodic hardcore band like that.

A Call to Arms


Intro
They say that all men are created equal
But some are more equal than others
And that?s why I ask you to stand with me now
And fight by me, sisters and brothers

Verse
High on the rooftops
My rallying cry
Shudders with spite
And tears the night sky
I throw up my fists
And beckon the crowd
That?s formed far below
For vengeance avowed

Chorus
And we?ll march tonight
For freedom we?ll fight
If they shoot me down I will stand right back up again
Don?t you demand that I move along
?Cause I?ll make it right if you do me wrong
If they shoot us down, we will stand right back up again
Yeah!

Instrumental Breakdown

Chorus
And we?ll march tonight
For freedom we?ll fight
If they shoot me down I will stand right back up again
Don?t you demand that I move along
?Cause I?ll make it right if you do me wrong
If they shoot us down, we will stand right back up again
Yeah!

Outro
[Spoken as the feedback fades]
?When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.?
Member #7 of the "...Still Waiting for the Zombie Holocaust" club. PM Smokey Amp to join.


Nothing from nowhere, I'm no one at all
Radiate, recognize one silent call
As we all form one dark flame...
Incinerate!
#2
The intro sounds better spoken, in my opinion. We could have guessed you were reading 1984 even if you hadn't told us The chorus seemed a bit jittery the further in I read. I think the lengths of the lines changes too much.

I like the ending, the spoken outro, that was good. Well this was a shit crit

If you could, could you have a quick look at the one in my sig?
#3
pretty good man. i like the rhymes like this line:

And we?ll march tonight
For freedom we?ll fight
If they shoot me down I will stand right back up again
Don?t you demand that I move along
?Cause I?ll make it right if you do me wrong
If they shoot us down, we will stand right back up again
Yeah!

my favorite part about this dong really lol idk why.

if you have a chance check out my song singled out
thanks
Quote by skaterskagg1
Gotta have more shaft!

Don't sig that!


Just because you said not too!
#4
I honestly cant stand anything that talks about being on rooftops. That is the absolute stereotypical pop-punk refrence. Yellowcard, Mest, Simple Plan, Lost Prophets, and (unfortunately) Rise Against all say that in at least one of their songs. (maybe more, but I dont listen to them). So, you should alter that line somehow. Thats the only problem I have with it. Besides that, pretty good job.
If to live is to die, then is to die to live? Thats a bunch of S_H_I_T.