"no title"

Well I?ve got a chance
To take this dance
With your morning light, feels so bright.
Well I?ll take this chance
And you?ll hold my hand
All through the night.
So will you take this chance
And make it mine.
To hold and adore.
You said, ?I will take this chance
And I will make it shine
Because you mean so much more.?

And when you said you?d never leave
I didn?t believe
One word.
And now I see
You on the sea
On a ship across the world
I thought we took a chance
And you held my hand
Now I have to live through the night
When we took this chance
You lied in the romance
Guess I proved my self right.

tell me what you guys think
well just on here not so good man sorry but with music it might change it
weird thing....like you just stuck all the words that rhyme together.
its very choppy. but in an intriguiing way. i actually enjoyed it. not a standard piece. i liked it though. 7/10.
yeh, kinda choppy but i kinda enjoyed it.....its a go at a love song.....(which i cant write)...it was cheesy, and kinda pushed together, but i really liked it.....its one of those songs you would sing to your g/f....if you want check out my song....seven years....thanks...
My Gear:
Washburn Lyon Tele Copy
Samick D7-CE :
Digitech Death Metal Pedal
Dunlop Jimi Hendrix Wah
Peavy Renown Solo Series Amp
There was a little too much of using words just cause they rhyme. Good song but try and give it a title.

Feel free to crit any in my sig