#1
Heres my latest song more than influenced by Arctic Monkeys! Please leave me some feedback and if you wanna read some more of my stuff, check out myspace.com/audiotrousers - cheers!

Capo 1st fret
Verse chords: D C E
Chorus chords: Am C E F, Am E Am Em

Verse 1:
My council house love has grow-en tired, she'll never
Know just how much shes admired, as we
Hunch before this burning car of love, shes trying
To melt the stars above

When we hold hands, my palm smothers, such a
Shame that one so young should be a mother, but I
Need more attention than her 5-year-old, whose pissing
In some other poor ****s car window

Chorus:
Shes making it hard on herself
Cos thats the way she likes it
Life aint much fun when its flaccid

Her lifes anything but routine, and her
Reading skills serve only to digest the TV magazine,
Before her my life was like this song, the same
3 chords over and over and overrrr....


Verse 2:
When I close my eyes I see her arse, but now
There aint much room for owt else, and sometimes
I lie in bed at night awake, cos if she
Rolls over then every bone in me she'll break, ITS NOT FUNNY!!

(Chorus)

Verse 3:
I'm not a waster I could get a nice girl, but I like
Wans who snatch the dole and piss it all against the wall
And on our wedding day we'll t'reception at t'Red Cow, and someone
Will start a fight, rip her dress, ruin the cake and the cops will have to call down....

Interlude:
Call downn...
Calm down.....
Call down......
Calm down.......................................


Final Verse: (played slowly)
My council house love has grow-en weary, and I've
packed my stuff, shouted goodbyes and now shes all teary
My work says I cant go in anymore smelling of piss and dutch gold....
#3
Maybe try to move away from the stylistic trademarks of other bands and make it your own a little more? It has potential, it could sound really rather folky if given the right treatment. It has potential!
Encore God & Asomodai- UG JHS Brotherhood

Encore God: fighting UG Zeppelin-centrism since 2002.