#1
Close youre eyes
You wont fall asleep tonight
sleep tight
Your dreams gonna end soon

write my name in flames
why dont you play my game
burn this blood red card
send her my regards
my names not in vein
but my names in flames

close youre eyes
days gonna break soon
hold tight
keep your dreams in youre mind

write my name in flames
why dont you play my game
burn this blood red card
send her my regards
my names not in vein
but my names in flames

youre still the same
still all alone
waiting for the phone
to hear those words

write my name in flames
why dont you play my game
burn this blood red card
send her my regards
my names not in vein
but my names in flames

Are you at the gate
are you at the door
pick up the phone
*whisper* i love you

crit for crit please leave a link
#2
pretty good man but IMO i tihnk you should maybe do 2 of those verses and then the chorus...thats my opinion other than that awesome!
#3
i hadnt thought of that but i understand where youre coming from the verses are a bit short. but i like space between them
#4
I would say maybe just add more to the verses, like 2 lines. Maybe add like a quick bride part to the song?

Also, what is it, a love song written on acoustic guitar?
#7
or that... forgot to say about the song, its good and i liked it, great way to end it i think just becouse you hadnt used the word love yet in the song. and very good overall

hey, seeing were the only two users on, wanna check out some of my other stuff, song or poem or somn?
#9
needs revising, first draft? awsome song, but with a little revision would kick some serious anal!

keep on keepin on

peace out
UG's HIPPIE
#11
I'm liking it mate, the name is good as. The ending smooth as