#1
i was also thinking of calling this normal man or culture of obedience or something. tell me what you think. i know the timing doesnt make sense when read, but i wrote the words after the music so dont worry about it.


NORMAL MAN


Normal man obeyed the system
just like how matter obeys gravity
he just wanted to succeed

he made so many friends but
the system ate away his sanity
and then left him there to bleed

Chorus
hate, fear, and closed minds
are the ingredients
they come together
and form a culture of obedience
you think for yourself
don't let the man decide
cus what they call "progress"
is just another form of suicide

Normal man became frustrated
He looked throughout his past with open eyes
To see what had first gone wrong

He found that he?d been a victim
Of a greedy structure that had fed the lies
He had followed all along

(Chorus)

All his life was animated
Sleep deprived and caffeinated
Maybe he?s just_ frustrated
I don?t know (X2)

Chorus.
I've seen emo-er.


Member of the "I am a Fan of Gaycore Wrestle-Metal" Fanclub.
#3
I quite enjoyed reading this piece and I must agree that the latter half of the chorus is absolutley grand.

I also quite like:

'All his life was animated
Sleep deprived and caffeinated
Maybe he?s just_ frustrated
I don?t know (X2) '

Though the 'I don't know' kinda turns me off a tad...I suppose it would sound far better put to music (as most songs do). The verses appeal to me because they have a choppy flow feel and I personally love a song that flows choppily while maintaining the artistic value of the piece... I think that came out really confusing but whatever.

Overall, I quite enjoyed it and keep on writing.