#1
back to my usual style of writing. crit 4 crit.

(Verse 1)
So high, like never before
changing sky, and spinning floor
My legs buckled I can not walk
Opened my mouth, but can not talk
Drowned in the river of shame
And floated there for entirety

(bridge)
The echoes of your past
Scream so loud
And the comfort of it ending
Never comes around

(Chorus)
All the laughter
And all the sun
It was here
Now its gone
Now its cancer
A dark cloud

Its to late
He cant save me
A little help
Is all I want
It?s not fate
What you got
I met Jesus
He?s no god
#7
Damn. Really love it. Especially the first verse there, it just sounds awesome in my head thje way it flows and those little internal rhymes in the beginning. Awesome.
#8
I'm sorry, but i somehow didnt like it.

i just got too much of an immature vibe through it...sorry.
too dark for me.
...And The Nominees Are
#9
I like it, nice and simple, easy to understand, and it gets the point across well. Nice work

-Jen
#10
Dig the song, man- but it could flow easier with a few changes.

In the last verse,

its too late
he cant save me
a little help
is all I'd need

Tell me whatcha think