#1
um i real bad spelling, but plz crit anyways, and not sure bout this one so...

A Dream, a nightmare, the reality.

Trying to get you of my mind,
Which you want,
More then I choke on my words,
When im with you,
And I can?t begin to understand
Just why you hate the throuts of me,
Pleas stop smiling at me
And the shine in your eyes,
Brings me to my knees,
And the axe is swung,
And ties we had cut forever,
And I wish I could find the word to make it right,

It ends with just one word,
That I accidentally herd,
And im running low,
And she?s running scared
And the branches scrape my face,
She tries to hide,
And the blood for my ripped face,
Dips on the flour, in the dead of night,
And all I here, is her last words,
As she whispers throw the black,
This is all your fault.

If this is all I get,
Do I get an explanation?
For your sudden hatred,
Pleas hurry up and ignore me,
At least the will help me,
Pleas stop smiling at me,
And the shine in your eyes,
Spells the end for me,
And a flick of your hair,
Is like the swing of the axe,
That cuts the ties we had,
And my voice goes unheard, as I find those words at last.
#2
I like it man, very.... interesting. I'd love to here it with a band behind it. What sort of music did you have in mind for it?

Sooo not talkin ay? well, we have ways of making you talk Mr. 42
Ibanez S520
Yamaha Pacifica 112 with JB.Jr Neck pickup
Ibanez Custom Blazer
Peavey Bandit 112, Marshall Valvestate 20
Marshall Jackhammer, Zoom 505 effects, Boss ME-50
Boss Pw 10 V Wah
Dunlop 1.5mm Picks, D'addario standard Strings
Last edited by Diateo at Aug 15, 2006,
#3
um sorry i toke so long to right back, um i was thinking scremo or what ever that ****s called now, coz parts were ment to be scremed