#1
Hi people.

This is the first verse to a song/poem I wrote in like 10 minutes. I'd just like to see what people think of it and whenther I should carry on or not.

Bear in mind that this song is tongue-in-cheek, and not about any incident in particular. OK, here:

I wish I was a cowboy
With a vision and a bomb
Concealed in the heel of a shoe.
For religious reign I'd crash that plane and I
Don't care whose lives I take
Cos in the end, I'll be gone too.

There, first verse. If you haven't already guessed, the arrangement is a simple C-F-G country progression on acoustic guitar. Shall I carry it on or is this type of satire-folk-song genre tired?
Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
Fa fa fa faa fa fa fa fa-fa faa


Quote by Paul Brannigan
Pie is like bread, but just with more pie in it
#2
Well it may well be tired genre (not for me to say), but that doesn't stop others carrying on with it, so, yeah.

TBH I don't know how suitable this really is as a first verse. It basically covers the entire subject and it touches on the "end" of it, too. Maybe a chorus, or something, but, content-wise, it'd be a strange first verse.

Heh, it's a cool title. Cowboys are cool. Especially the gay ones, if you'll forgive my generalising

The first four words of the song "I wish I was", make me expect you to say "punk rocker" or something annoying like that...

Anyway, yeah, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't add to this. Though your version of 'satire' could be more subtle. You've basically stooped to sarcasm, like. Try to make it a little less obvious.

Ro
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