#1
I'm sorry for everything
that I did wrong
I want to apologise
So I put it in song

I'm sorry for all of it
so sorry to you
I'm sorry I suck so much
But I guess I just do

Sorry that I'm not cool
Again and again
So sorry that I'm a loser
But I guess that's what I am

Nothing is good enough
So why even try
I really hate me
And I wish I would die

Maybe I'll fall in a hole
And never come out again
Maybe I'll be beaten
By seventeen men

I hope I get hit by a truck
Or a bullet train
Or get eaten alive
so that nothing remains

I'm sorry for writing this
Writing this song
I'm sorry for all of it
Sorry it's long

I'm so very sorry
I'm sorry, it's true
I'm sorry I suck so much
But I just do.


End

Another one from one of the genius' behind The WOODnotes. It was meant to kind of be a joke but it sounds more like iI really do have really low self esteem. I haven't decided what kind of song it will be yet, so suggestions are welcome. (If it's bad I don't care 'cause it was off the top of my head)
#2
heres a tip i learned from the singer from weezer. Anything real is impossible to sing about
#7
It made me cringe, there's the truth. Don't embaress yourself by making it into a song.

First off your flow was horrible; it's go no rhythm to it. Secondly it's got no metaphors or imagery. Thirdly the diction is primative and bland.

But let's skip all that 'cos the only real thing that makes this bad is the fact that the topic is so cliched and you didn't make an effort to make it original; that blanks out all the other bad things about it.

Being cruel to be kind here
#9
Quote by caz_guitar_dude
It made me cringe, there's the truth. Don't embaress yourself by making it into a song.

First off your flow was horrible; it's go no rhythm to it. Secondly it's got no metaphors or imagery. Thirdly the diction is primative and bland.

But let's skip all that 'cos the only real thing that makes this bad is the fact that the topic is so cliched and you didn't make an effort to make it original; that blanks out all the other bad things about it.

Being cruel to be kind here


He is right. It's a little to harsh to see it but you should make another attempt and next time don't just come out and say exactly what you mean. See what you can do with this song though, you'll really need to strip it down to its bare dones though.
#10
ok.... nice concept...but the lyrics kinda ..well, you know...suck.....but you can change it with better word choice and fluency (yay...that was the day i didnt fall asleep in english that i learned that =) make it so i flows and dont do stuff like all the gay rappers: cant think of something that fits....just use a random word that rymes with the one in fron of it.....it sounds so retarded...
this is a good first draft to show where you could use improvement....dont give up on it...just keep trying until you find something that works

peace out
UG's HIPPIE
#11
okay thanks a lot. I just wrote down any thing that i thought of so no wonder it's cliche and sucks. It came out WAY more serious than i wanted anyway. I'll get together with my accomplice in the WOODnotes and fix the flaws and post the perfected song on The WOODnotes account. Peace.
#17
everything is too straight forward.. u have to put your heart and mind into it.. and make it more emotional.. it needs to be more than just words... there needs to be a beginning and an end to this too....