#1
Blistering to become another feeble emblem
of self-indulgence
A mirror for your disgrace
So in love with this hideous face

Take another needle to the vein
Keep another lie don't refrain
The victim likes your abuse
I'd fight it but what's the use?

No one ever stood for you
the way I fell
No one has ever held their tongue
Just to tell

Somehow your invested in my blood
Swimming to my shallow core
A sickness dead in my veins
Only begining to realize
That I'm the w hore

No one ever stood for you
the way I fell
No one ever held their tongue
to tell

Geuss I'm the only one to breath for suffocation
Holding my tongue to tell
that no one has ever stood for you
the way I fu cking fell
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#2
The intro was very powerful, as any good metal song should be. I like the opener, and it sets the mood for the rest of the song. The rhymes in the second verse were a little cliche, but atleast you didn't fall into the trap of trying so hard that the lines lost their meaning. The chorus, seems kind of weak. I'm assuming it is screamed heavily with much emphasis, but I still think the chorus has room for improvement. Third verse feels out of place.. the rest of the song is an AABB rhyme, and the you come out with a ABCDB. It seems like near the end you kind of got sloppy, and kind of rushed to complete the songs. I am victim of doing this too, don't fall victim to this! Just take your time, no need to rush. I think the song can be made stronger, just keep working on it. Good luck.

If you could give me some feedback on my song "A Change Of Seasons/As I wait.." I would greatly appreciate it.