#1
I take this stick and beat myself black and blue
Covered in scabs, a constant hell I struggle through
The mind decayed, accustomed to the constant pain
Swinning in sin, hide behind my dark disdain

Convince myself it's better than the world I fear
Deny the man trapped behind the thin veneer
Tear at the flesh, insects crawl beneath the skin
I have become nothing that I could have been

*Chorus*
The closer I get to myself
The further it seams
A constant struggle to control
The monster that likes beneath

Self loathing terror, a desire to be free
What has become of the animal inside me?
Chained to demons I wrestle to control
No longer the man I know I used to know

Relinquish me from the pain and suffering
Destroy the madness that has taken over me
Suffer the soul of the urge that I supress
Further and further and further I regress

*Chorus*
The closer I get to myself
The further it seams
A constant struggle to control
The monster that likes beneath
Denied a simple joy
Existance that has no end
I pull the wool over my eyes
And continue to pretend.