#1
This is what I got, It needs work so I would like suggetions..


I miss, I want you, I need you, I love you

Every Morning I wake up thinking about you
I close my eyes and see your pretty face
I try to forget how much longer till I can see you
I am going through hell without you by my side
I need you here with me
So I can hold you once again

Because I miss, I want you, I need you, I love you

When can I see you again cause I am turning inside out
I can't stop thinking about how much I want you here beside me
I want to hold you again and kiss you again
When are you comin back to me so we can be together
Will you hold me like you use too
With you not here I am confused without you

I want you here
So i can be with you
To hold you and kiss you
Like we always do

Because I miss, I want you, I need you, I love you

I can't stand you gone this long
I can't stop thinking about you
I need to by my side
Like you always do
I need you here with me
I need you now


When are you comin back
When am I gonna see you again
I need you here with me
I want to hold you again

Because I miss, I want you, I need you, I love you
Last edited by killinsniper at Aug 19, 2006,
#2
Everybody can come up with this, its the song itself that makes the difference
Quote by controlfreak
does anyone have a tab for that porn soundtrack type music? you know the stuff drenched with wah prob being played on top of a cliff or somethin.
#3
I need help on the lyrics though.I need like differ words and that stuff.Cause I think it really isnt good.
#5
Quote by killinsniper
I need help on the lyrics though.I need like differ words and that stuff.Cause I think it really isnt good.


Your right, it really isn't good. You WAY TOO MUCH repeating!!!
#9
think of different ways to say stuff. Eg. Line 2: "i close my eyes and see your face" --> Your face imprinted on the back of my eyelids

also use a thesaurus, but not too much

happy editing
Quote by the bartender
^ this man knows his stuff.
#10
I would suggest reading up on the lyrics tips thread on metaphor and imagery.

This will help bring variation to your work. Raw feeling and emotion is alright if you can put a new spin on raw feeling and emotion, but this didn't.

So, use metaphor to put your ideas across in new and exciting ways. It's a great way to grow as a writer.
#11
i love it! i know the feeling and yeah, the " i miss you want you.." that part, its awsome but you should have a lead singer sing that the first time and then the rest of it should be like background singers wispering it...that would sound better...and way, it awsoem

peace out
UG's HIPPIE
#12
Thanks, I don't want this song technical cause this saturday(Next) I am gonna be playing with my guitar(Already got chords and ect) to my girlfriend.I made thsi cause I haven't seen her in a month so.Thanks for the advice so far and I still would enjoy more, it isn't perfect yet.