#1
Righty so it's been a while since I posted anything, but I think this song shows more promise than anything before. I need some feedback though,crit for crit naturally, because I reckon it needs something more. The music to it is acoustic to start with then builds into an electric distorted ending.


Apply the colour

You could say my life is a finished picture
Except for the blank space on my arm
where your hand should be
holding on to me so tightly

A stolen kiss
What does it mean?
Is this the end or the same old
same old me

We can build this up from the ground
And let it develop into something new
Clearing the dust away so the
colour can be applied

And if this doesn't work out
I will wait for as long as it may take(repeated)


cheers
#2
Apply the colour

You could say my life is a finished picture
Except for the blank space on my arm
where your hand should be
holding on to me so tightly yeah, cool, i like this

A stolen kiss
What does it mean?
Is this the end or the same old
same old me hmm? same old, didnt like that, and the repetion either, but did like the srolen kiss, but i think this could be made better

We can build this up from the ground
And let it develop into something new
Clearing the dust away so the
colour can be applied i dont really get your color metaphor, man, explain? but its alright, i mean the verse itself

And if this doesn't work out
I will wait for as long as it may take(repeated) and that's good, but can you try making it stronger, same idea, just stronger

i liked it overall, not amazing, but good enough

and if you wanna crit back Another Restless Night is in my sig
#4
I really quite like this. short and sweet. but i've got to say, you should make more out of the painting/picture idea.
its set up nicely in the 1st stanza, and it all goes ok, but ireckon you could do sooo much more with it. I wouldnt scrap anything, but personally i think it could have a lot more depth if you just carried on the theme.

Peace out
--------------------i'm definitely the alphaest male here--------------------