#1
You Know how the story goes
your shot down in flames
messing with my head
trying to play your games

I'm part of your life
That wont seem to go
but I'm trying to tell you
something you should know

if only you could see
what your doing to me
would you have second thoughts
or just let it be
if only you could see
what you have done to me
would it all be the same
or would you find someone else to blame

And when it all begins
you run and hide
and you will lie to us
saying your alright

So when it starts to end
I will bring you down
then its time for me to go
I'm tired of hanging around

if only you could see
what your doing to me
would you have second thoughts
or just let it be
if only you could see
what you have done to me
would it all be the same
or would you find someone else to blame
Last edited by Eyeball_tickler at Aug 20, 2006,
#2
You Know how the story goes
your shot down in flames
messing with my head
trying to play your games

Pretty good here- like they way you rhyme


I'm part of your life
That wont seem to go
but I'm trying to tell you
something you should know
Real good here


if only you could see
what your doing to me
would you have second thoughts
or just let it be
if only you could see
what you have done to me
would it all be the same
or would you find someone else to blame

I?m guessing this part is the chorus? I don?t like how you repeat the first two lines and then make the second part longer the second time if you know what I mean.


And when it all begins
you run and hide
and you will lie to us
saying your alright

Pretty good


So when it starts to end
I will bring you down
then its time for me to go
I'm tired of hanging around

Bring them down from where?? Otherwise pretty good


if only you could see
what your doing to me
would you have second thoughts
or just let it be
if only you could see
what you have done to me
would it all be the same
or would you find someone else to blame

Same as before but I don?t like the idea as this as the ending, try to add something else.

Other than some parts it was really good, write some more.
#3
What's crazy is I was just about to put up a song titled If only also, but I'll wait since you beat me to it. This song is good . Wasn't a ten, but a good 8 or so and seems to be a way heavier song then my version of If Only. Good job