#1
haven't posted in awhile, so if it sucks i apologize. I wrote it kinda quick, but i got into a fight with my girlfriend and it really bothered me cause we never fight. but, here it is...any crits would be greatly appreciated

Turn Over, Try Again

Late night conversations,
Having trouble sleeping,
Eyes wide open,
Reminiscing the past hours,
Turn over, try again,
Apologies through my finger,
Sleep tight, sweetheart,
It'll be better in the morning.

Hating this feeling,
Don't speak, just listen
Hug me tight, darling
It'll be better in the morning

Kisses on her forehead,
Never meant so much,
To say i'm sorry,
Trying to make things right,
Never seemed so hard,
It's all been so easy until now.

Hating this feeling,
Don't speak, just listen
Hug me tight, darling
It'll be better in the morning

'Cause I love you, I need you,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
Turn over, try again.
#2
The first verse is nice. It has some really good flow, except for the "reminiscing the past hours" line, the verse kind of builds and flows well up till that point, and then has to start over again. Maybe a re-workign of this line is in order?

The chorus is good. Definantly my favorite part of the song, not much to crit there, except to say good work. I'm a little indecisive about the second verse to really comment. As you said you hadn't had fights till now, this also shows in this verse.
Quote by SecondBest

'Cause I love you, I need you,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
Turn over, try again.

I like what your trying to do with this outro type part. Just the only problem is the First line of it. I don't really like, it seems line it has been already said in too many songs.

Overall, a really cool song. I like it heaps. Crit mine if you like. And i hope everything is sweet with your missus now.

-Turaki
#3
yeah, i wasn't too sure...specially about the outro...jus i'll take out the i love you i need you part cause thats obvious yuo'd still want them n its cliche...n i'll jus take out the reminiscing part cause it kinda doesnt fit...but thanks for the crit
#4
Yeh, no worries mate. Its a good song. I like it. The reminissing part doesn't need to be totally removed, but maybe re-worded so it's not as long. And yeh, the "love you, need you" was a bit cliche, but hey, most of my songs are too. Crit for crit?