#1
this is the story of a theif and a man
they were gonna rob a bank
gonna check their master plan
but something got in the way
and they think their gonna leave with their lives
but in the back of their minds
they know its just a matter of time

so they make a plan
gonna take out as many as they can
they've made their rounds
then they hit the ground
not getting up till they hear this sound
so they made a plan
this is the story of a thief and a man

gather up some paper and some pencils and a pen
gonna sketch it out
gonna make it smooth and permenant
but something got in the way
and they think their gonna leave with their lives
but in the back of their minds
they know its just a matter of time

so they make a plan
gonna take out as many as they can
they've made their rounds
then they hit the ground
not getting up till they hear this sound
so they made a plan
this is the story of a thief and a man

they got no way around
cause someone just ratted them out
now the writer of the book
just has to get the ending right

the police bust down the door
and their sitting on the floor with no way out
they've made their rounds
then they hit the ground
not getting up till they hear this sound
so they made a plan
that was the story of a thief and a man

crit for crit
#2
This was a bit too repetitive for my liking. The first verse/stanza was a great introduction, but it probably could have been arranged better.

The best lines (in my opinion) are:

and they think their gonna leave with their lives
but in the back of their minds
they know its just a matter of time

That's a great line there, and I liked how it was repeated a few times, but the repetition of the other lines seemed more out of place.