#1
excuse the poor grammar, but this is how I talk, and it still gets the message across

there's nobody thinks everything's beautiful
but there's somebody thinks nothing is
and maybe he's right, and maybe he isn't, and maybe he is
either way he's gonna die young, cause where's the point without beauty

you know somebody, we all know somebody
likes to be the martyr of a generation
hey man, where'd you get those lines on your wrists?
I been around, I been around
hey man, where'd you get those lines on your dash?
I been around, I been around
hey man, how come we don't talk anymore?
cause I'm getting around, and I'm never coming back

well maybe reincarnation ain't just for buddhists
so a man has to ask, who I was, and who I am
questions with no answers, or maybe answers no one wants to hear

maybe there's no god, and maybe there is
and maybe there isn't, and maybe there is
but I'll pray anyway, cause that's the way it is,
the way it's always been

you know somebody, we all know somebody
says if you love yourself you're not doing it right
well maybe it's true, and maybe it isn't, but it is
So turn off the lights cause it's night on the Sun....

if anything i say comes acrosss as pretentious, tell me what an asshole i am.
#2
Nice idea and a good topic to write about. I like it, but I don't see any reason to have

'hey man, where'd you get those lines on your dash?
I been around, I been around'

in there, except for the use of repetition. I think that should be changed but other than that, it sounds good to me. I really like the topic though. Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=418403
#3
those lines were supposed to further illustrate the guy's sinking into depravity and senseless acts

doing lines is doing cocaine in case you didn't know

thanks for the crit
So turn off the lights cause it's night on the Sun....

if anything i say comes acrosss as pretentious, tell me what an asshole i am.