#1
Countless lives are taken by, this field of blood and gore
Sargeant calls your name right up its time to go to war.
Bodies are split right in half, this cant be any good.
A body lies way by the tank, its head is by your foot.

Is this just fiction now, or am i really gonna die?
Born to kill by fathers rules, to heaven I wont fly.
Runningthrough the family I Shall not follow this trend.
I should of thought before I fought, now my life will end.

Too late now,
Why and how.
did my life come to this.

Now its here,
up comes my fear,
not like army practice.

I gain my sense,
now its gets tense,
I feel death posessing me

I know ill die.
I cannot lie,
is this my destiny?

Chorus:

Corpses rot, will soon be me,
Get it over now.
Cannot escape, from this dream,
Lifes ruined anyhow.


"Get up soldier, no time for slack."
His words play through my head
"Youll die proud, like all of us did"
Im not proud im ****ing dead!
This country did not die for me
so why die for it?

I feel this can be more of a breakdown verse before a solo agreed?

:solo:


Tell me what you think so far.
Constructive critisism would be appreciated.
Last edited by ShowNoMercy616 at Aug 22, 2006,
#2
i think it sounds good, with the right sort of music and guitar playing in the background it could sound thrashy and like slayer-kinda reminiscent of war ensemble, and slayerish is what im guessing you are after (judgin by your name)

EDIT: a chorus would be good though, maybe a guitar solo (or more) and one final verse after the breakdown
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^PLOP = Best, username, ever.


REVOCATION FTW! 9/9/9
#3
Yes that is what its based on slayer metallica ish
thanks you very much.
ive made a riff for the verses and intro, but not the bridge yet.
#4
the bridge should be a different tempo if you want to keep it interesting
Quote by Aussie_skater
everyone listen to PLOP he knows the way of the forum samurai

Quote by Seth Shadows
^PLOP = Best, username, ever.


REVOCATION FTW! 9/9/9
#5
Yep thats exactly what im aiming for. faster ish bridge.
Ill edit this with a chorus and an "after solo breakdown" verse
when i finish writing.