#1
hey, i'm new.
this is a song that i recently wrote.
not sure of a title yet ... suggest one maybe?
crit for crit .

Would you believe me if i said i didn't need you?
Because i wouldn't believe myself.
Let me take you to where innocence is a blessing.
Because that is what you are.
Innocent - the only word that comes to mind.
Even innocent beyond pleasure's allusion.
You're the way life should be.

I have taken a picture of you with my mind.
So now you're in front of me at all times,
And so i can also see you, even when i'm blind.
It's the least i can do for not finding you before.
#2
Short.

Pretty good.

I liked the whole innocent line thing.

You should name it innocence or innocent just because of that
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#3
Quote by feltgrape
Short.

Pretty good.

I liked the whole innocent line thing.

You should name it innocence or innocent just because of that


thanks.
i was thinking of having innocence in the title somewhere.
#4
I thougt it was decent... very short, but I think it'd make a good song with more added to it (another verse, chorus if one of those wasn't a possible chorus).. I don't really have much to make out of this one (sorry), but you seem to have your thoughts strung together at least. Keep up the good work...