I wrote this a few nights ago after finishing "slouching toward nirvana" and got a burst of inspiration. Anyway, enjoy. Crit for crit of course

We don?t ask how he did it
We just know that he did
He was alone, like me
And he managed to spin such
Spectacular things out of
How is it then
That I can accept these truthful ramblings as poems
But not the world for what it is
Or at least
What I have read it to be
I think your style is direct and to the point, which does save us all a lot of time. The flow throughout is good, whic is impressive given the variation of lines.

Anyway, this piece doesn't really have much wrong with it. Short and sweet, as I mentioned before.
Last edited by CJW at Aug 24, 2006,
Agreeing with CJW, I can't really say much more, there is very little to crit here, but that's fine for the style it was put in.

Clear and simple, which is how the best things in life are made.

Heh Bukowski. I can see the stylistic similarities to his work. And I have to say you pulled this off with apparent ease, I like the content. As the others said its not the type of piece to get my teeth into, just compliment, and while this is nice for your ego, its no benefit. So gd work is all you're gonna get.

My only qualm, is perhaps the lack of basic grammar.

Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
Meh, nirvana

This reminded me very much of bukowski, it was very well done. Especially, the 'spin' part, I remember that being mentioned in the last night of the earth.

Nice job.
Very direct and too the point...more or less the oppostie of my style, but I want to learn to write like this. No fair, xD.

I liked it a lot. It was short, simple and direct (which is what is often needed). Good job I'll say.