#1
plz crit:

From high on my pulpit I'll preach you life
I'll show you how to distrust your mind
Pride the culprit and I'll teach you why
In a plastic box comes the truth you find

Misery of man, will it ever stop?
Only the white light to save your darkened soul
I'll take you there, but first will you lighten up
God needs the money for a better world

Pride and greed are ragged glory
Obsession is your trial by fire
Clinging need is the holy story
Open your heart to the TV messiah.
#2
I like this song. It's not the average 'omg life sucks' lyrics, it goes deeper. It shows how wrong the direction mankind is heading to, is. I write these kinds of lyrics myself as well, so yeah ^^.
Carry on, I like your style
#3
From high on my pulpit I'll preach you life
I'll show you how to distrust your mind
Pride the culprit and I'll teach you why
In a plastic box comes the truth you find

Very good, I like this stanza alot. It draws the reader in and fits well with the title. It paints a good image of a televangelist.

Misery of man, will it ever stop?
Only the white light to save your darkened soul
I'll take you there, but first will you lighten up
God needs the money for a better world

Again, a good stanza. Good flow, and a good message in the lyrics.

Pride and greed are ragged glory
Obsession is your trial by fire
Clinging need is the holy story
Open your heart to the TV messiah.

I really like the way this stanza is worded. Once again, you do a good job describing what "TV Messiahs" preach.

To be honest with you, this reminded me alot of "Leper Messiah" by Metallica. The message is pretty much the same, and the last line really sounds like the line from the Metallica song. I'm not accusing you of plagarism or anything, but I just think they sound similar. I personally liked this, you did a great job.

Can you please crit one from my sig? Thank you.
#4
thanks for the crits guys.. noticed the leper messiah connection only after lespaul pointed it out.. the actual inspiration for this came from megadeth's ''holy wars...the punishment due''.. but i guess leper messiah must have been in the back of my head while i wrote this...