#1
another song by my, just tell me what you guys think.
I'm currently writing a ballad/emo kinda November Rain thingy, soon the be seen here:P

Walk with me

This is the time you?re life will end
This is the time you?ll have to die
This is the time where I kill you
Just.. Walk With Me

Welcome to the pain I feel inside
My life is breaking every night
Caus these voices in my head
Are telling me you should be dead

This is the time you?re life will end
This is the time you?ll have to die
This is the time where I kill you
Just.. Walk With Me

You brought me pain so many times
You took my mind with all your lies
But tonight the time has come
For you reign to be undone

This is the time you?re life will end
This is the time you?ll have to die
This is the time where I kill you
Just.. Walk With Me

Walk with me
Then you?ll see
That tonight
You?ll meet the darkness of my mind

Walk with me and Die!


any grammar or other faults please say so:P
Gear:

Ibanez V50 acoustic ( my first love)
Ibanez 442 RTR ( my second love)
Laney Linebacker Reverb 30Watt
#2
First thing I noticed was you're consistent....in using the wrong "you're" (that one is a contraction of "you are"). It should be "your". All 3 times. I'll leave the actual critiquing to the people who actually want to though...Keep writing.
#3
Well pretty damn good..but one thing, dont repeat the chourse so much k, and add a little more to the verse..sorry lol