#1
This is a band member of the WOODnotes and i was writing a song today so i thought i'd post it. im not done with it but i got stuck and couldn't think of anymore ideas so if you have any just let me know, and let me know how im doing so far.


Chorus:

If you ment what you said,
Baby, Why'd you have to say I love you,
I lived my life,
Like i never wanna live without you,
Why'd you have to lie,
Baby, I never knew you used me,
You made me cry,
Baby, now I never wanna see you.

Verse 1:

Baby, you said our love could never be apart,
I knew our love was only in one heart.

Chorus

Verse 2:

Baby, Why'd you use me,
You just should of said,
No from the start.

Chorus

End


this song has a ballad sound to it. And remember that im not done with it, and im not even sure if im gonna keep everything in the same order, or even add the two verses together. So give me so ideas. thanx
Mace
#2
80's power-ballad is the first thing that comes to my mind when i was reading this, so unless your aiming for that sound, which i think you are since you said its a sort of ballad, then its good. Otherwise, i woulndt use for anything else, personally
RIG

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#3
Hey thanx man, yeah it is a 80's power ballad so that is good. thanx again.
peace, Mace

edit: i love you avatar lol
#5
should of said, - should HAVE said, man. Anyway. I don't know, it was OK. Ballad, yep, it works. I didn't really READ it the first time, and the second time through was better. Relatable for sure. So um, I don't really have anything to add, except that this will be really short and you may want to add something. I like.

Mine's in my sig, if you've got a minute.
#6
thanx for the crit man. hey guys i need more. I will crit yours if you crit mine, thanx
#7
It's fine, however do not post a song untill you have put most of the finishig touches on it. Saying"Its not done, or Im rearranging parts" seems like an excuse. Don't be so worried about criticism. Sell the finished product for critique. You are an excellent song writer, be original and write from the heart. Do not worry about the petty comments.
Bigpawz
(Guitarist, Lake Effect LLC.)

"I am not mean, I just mean what I say" bigpawz
#8
it feels sorta.....incomplete. actually, really incomplete. depending on the sound you ave, the chorus could be pretty catchy, but flesh out the verses more than just whining to Baby
add on to this a bit and repost

--jay
#9
Hey thanx for the crits guys. Yeah im not done with it yet, but i ahve been working on it then when im done i'll post it on my bands UG account. thanx a million, peace