#2
i will review only the first one, although, i like the concept of episodes.

It happened three years ago,
From there time moved so slowly,
Living with you was so fun,
Living by you was my life,
And now you?re becoming my wife,
I am happy as happy can be,
Woes don' get me down 'cos I just see,
You.
So embroiled in love,
So caught in emotions,
So lost in thoughts,
I am in love.


In my opinion, it's alright, but need a bit of tidying, the i am in love, kinda doesnt' fit there, unless you remove the ''embroiled in love''. i also don't really like the rhyme between wife and life...very cliche, and widely used already...try finding something more unique otherwise good.

One day it happened,
it happened so quick,
I didn't know why,
I still don't know,
I was told by a friend,
Told by a close one,
That you were cheating,
With someone else,
On your hen night,
The last night of freedom,
Your out making it last,
But not how I hoped,
I am sad,
Unhappy,
Depressed,
This man will not take it standing,
I will not stand back,
Action will be taken,
Force will be done,
Get ready bitch,
Its not gona be fun


i think you should put some punctuation into this, because the commas make it sound like you say it in one breath. fullstops after short sentences, add drama and get the message across easier. otherwise, i like it.


Back home you enter,
I am sat alone,
You ask what the matter is,
I answer with a resounding you,
You?re in shock,
I say I no,
The room feels awkward,
An air of mystery surrounds,
You start to speak but I stop you.

I leave the room for a while,
Think things through again,
I hear your air of mystery,
You?re unhappy too,
Thank god for that,
You?re not an emotionless bitch!
I don't love anymore,
I just hate myself,
I f**king hate myself,
For ever loving you!


i like the ending of this, raw emotion and power. there's bad grammar though, or a spelling mistake (''I answer with a resounding you''). i would like to say, that it's hard to find rythm though, throught out this piece, but that's just me :P.

I come to a choice,
Let you go or don?t,
Keep you in sight,
Or out of it.
What should I do?
I love you,
But hate you too,
Which overpowers more?
Which is truer to my cause?
I decide on a route,
The route of revenge,
Look out girl,
I?m coming?

I like the ending here. it's like ''to be continued'' makes me want to read the next episode.


overall: 6.5/10