#1
Joy and laughter, and clichéd ending

A story book love, never felt so fine

Happily ever after tales soon falter

Leaving smoking kindles burnt behind


Tears on my shoulder, and all your troubles

A heart that?s weathered, lost and afraid

I?m here today, just like tomorrow

I?m here to see you through


Broken promises, and random moments

Shattered faces, and life long dreams

I?m the friend that come in life?s troubles

Gathered around you to see you through

Here together, always forever

I?m here to see you through

----------------------------------------------------


well, its not even about me, anyway i got the idea reading a forum (sorry it wasnt this one, it was actually a guitar hero one, and i used one line a guy said) anyway let me know what you think. thanks
#2
I like it! I like it a lot!
I like how you repeated "see you through," in the last 2 verses, and the first verse really speaks to me.
I wanna hear it recorded, great work!
#3
i would sing, but my voice blows. anyway it is rather easy to play, but i am working on doing do cool picking....
#4
PRetty cool, but it felt like it just got going when it ended. Maybe its one of those things where you cant go anywhere with after your out of that same mindset you were in when you wrote it, idk, that happens to me a lot. If you can, I would definitly add to this though, cause it sounds like it could be a really cool little song.
Crit mine if you can (Untitled in my crit). Thanks.
#5
Nice piece you have going here. It was simple yet eloquent at the same time. (If that makes any sense). I thought the flow was excellent and that overall this song was beautifully written.

Crit mine please?

Wisdom of the Lamb
#6
The song is on the short side and if you decide to expand on it then use "see you through" as the focal point and build around it. Its very good, I'd like to see how you would take it further.

You can take a look at mine, it might help you.

4:20 Smoke Break
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#7
it wasnt supposed to be long, but i am thinking about adding another verse if i get in the same mood... thanks for the crit.
#8
T like it but (unlike sub_urban12) I dont tlike the repeatition of "I'm here to see you through
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