#1
I just wrote this song, it kinda just came to me. I would like to make it better if its good, so please give me some honest crits....crit4crit


Looking inside,
Trying to find,
The memories and,
What lies behind

Ive opend it up,
Now im searching around,
Im still looking,
But still nothing is found,
Trying to confrot,
What ive feared all along,
Also fearing that I am wrong

Looking inside,
Only to see,
An emptyness,
Looking back at me

I think ive found,
Whats been there all along,
And I know I'm right,
But still i think im wrong,
Theres nothing there,
Yet there's everything
An emptyness looking back at me

Looking inside,
Only to find,
That an emptyness,
Is what lies behind

There's nothing there,
Yet there'severything,
An emptyness looking back at me

Looking inside,
Trying to find,
The memories an,
What lies behind

Only to find,
That an emptyness,
Is what lies behind
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#3
i hate judging lyrics without hearing the way you sing them.
these are pretty good, but you could definitely use some variety when choosing words and rhyme scheme.
#4
thanx...i get what your saying with that and i kinda said that to myself but i couldnt think of anything better at this time, i will work on it and i will try to change some stuff because i dont really like that either, but also its hard to change a few lines to make it stay with the story line, if you get what im saying?...but thx for the crits
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#5
yeah. use a thesaurus.
it's a lyric-writer's most valuable tool, besides his inspiration.