#1
umm i just wrote this and i wanted to know what you guys think and if i should even bother turning it into a real song, cause i know everything ive ever put on this site is garbage pretty much but yea anyways just tell me if its ok or not please? ill try to crit back but im not very good so ya know

so stand up and say what you need to,
i'm here and i'll hold on to your words,
they could never know just how we do,
unless you stand up, so stand up,
Quote by MightyAl
The best way to approach a group of girls is wearing a dirty old trenchcoat with nothing underneath. Open it in slow motion, while making your 'orgasm face', and then run like hell.

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#2
idk bout the 3rd line... sounds like it doesn't fit in there but i like the rest~ sounds kinda political tho...
#3
so stand up and say what you need to,
i'm here and i'll hold on to your words,
they could never know just how we do,
unless you stand up, so stand up,


ok, this is probably good for a draft, but not for an actual song. try putting some work into it, cause it needs it. i like it otherwise, good concept. the flow wasn't perfect. and the last line does'nt really fit. what you could try, is making the ''unless you stand up'' more longer and metaphorical, and add the 'so stand up' as the 5th line of the verse. that's how i'd do it.

overall, i suppose good start....

please crit my song - after you. you'll find the link in my signature