#1
(i dont care)
you think you won the war but
(you dont know)
anything better then
(what your told)

the lies your fed
it's like your blindfolded
nothing can take back
what you try so hard to hide

nothing seems more broken
then these words you've spoken
with you're stranglehold on evrything
My one escape comes mentally


theres more to come its not completed yet but u get the idea
#3
It is a word...but it's hard to tell when this kid can't manage to use the right "your" more than once. What does this song have to do with not caring? This is even less creative than the other 3000 songs with the same title...get some ideas of your own and for **** sakes find an interesting way to say them, or keep them to yourself.
#4
It's really short and kind of borring, the only lines that I really liked were the first 2 of the last paragraph, and you need to get your yours correct. You're = You Are ex: (You're bad with your grammar) Your = ex: (Your grammar skills are bad)

Amish, you need to stop being an ass to everyone who writes a song that you don't like, if you don't have any thing good or constructive to say, don't say anything at all.
ESP/ltd EC-1000 snow white
ESP/ltd MH-1000NT See Through Blue
Peavey 6505+
Mesa traditional 4x12 (x pattern 2 v30's and 2 g12h30's)
ISP decimator/Tc Electronics Polytune/Ts9 Tubescreamer

Check out my band! www.facebook.com/blackentheskyline
#5
I thought (from even the title) that is was gonna be Green Dayish, you know all they whine about is war and George Bush. Its kinda short aswell..

^ I agree with you on the last sentence
Quote by HelpMeImHungry


I broke my g string while fingering A minor

#6
Hey, guitarman, maybe I wasn't being "nice", but I offered just as much constructive criticism as I did assholery. Asking a simple question like I did ("What does this song have to do with not caring?" - I'd still like to know) is not wrong. My apologies to RontheRed for some of what I said, but guitarman, don't bitch at me just because I don't like YOUR song.
#7
It should be 'its like your blindfold'

And it does seem a bit generic, but I'm one to speak. If you get a kick ass guitar riff and sing it one word at a time I think it could fly.
#8
thanks alot guys because in reality i don't really like it either i was just trying to prove a point to my singer. so you guys helped me out because i really didn't want this in a song


i dont like punk, i have no problem with bush maybe he does i don't know.
#9
Quote by AmishPhonebooks
Hey, guitarman, maybe I wasn't being "nice", but I offered just as much constructive criticism as I did assholery. Asking a simple question like I did ("What does this song have to do with not caring?" - I'd still like to know) is not wrong. My apologies to RontheRed for some of what I said, but guitarman, don't bitch at me just because I don't like YOUR song.


I don't give a **** that you don't like my song. I just think people would appreciate it a bit more if you just left your constructive criticism without having to be an ass.
ESP/ltd EC-1000 snow white
ESP/ltd MH-1000NT See Through Blue
Peavey 6505+
Mesa traditional 4x12 (x pattern 2 v30's and 2 g12h30's)
ISP decimator/Tc Electronics Polytune/Ts9 Tubescreamer

Check out my band! www.facebook.com/blackentheskyline
#10
in regard to amish being an ass about it. if it was my own worked it would bother me but since i really didn't want this in a song it helps big time to get my point across. again though if it was mine i would be pissed off a little bit