#1
Im not sure whether this is the place to put these but whateva..


The puddles underfoot splashed upon his knees with each casual stride. Each tread caused knees to bow and his arms to swing slightly, synchonized with the pace of the man, but much to slow for the timing of the world around him. I watched from my seat on the bench and became intrigued. This man was different from the rest of the pigeons around him. He didn't feel the need to leave his droppings scattered around in an unruly mess. He kept his statues clean, I could tell, this man was no bird.

He wore a humble work shirt, with a single button left undone and in his right hand clutched a briefcase. What are you up to, you cocky devil, I began to wonder. Surely he must have some sort of plan to look so sure of himself.

I took my eyes off of the man for a moment to take in the world that he was walking through. From my perch on the bench I could see the sidewalk that served as his road, providing him the means to carry on his journey. A fountain stood in the middle, causing the pavement to circle around it, grabbing everyones full attention, pleading with them to throw in whatever spare change they could muster. Clearly everyone that passed by could only afford to give away their pennies.

The penny pinchers passed me by and I became disgusted. I watched each of their self-absorbed faces and began to loathe them more and more. Each one hurried past as if late for an important meeting. These people had become so involved in themselves that they no longer took the time to enjoy life. They had lost the grasp of humanity and there was only one man that could possibly save us.

I brought my eyes back to the man and glanced at his briefcase. Whatever you're up to brother, I'm with you. I will stand by your side and help you usher in a new era. Together we will create change, just let me know how I can do my part.

The man continued walking, getting closer and closer to the fountain. I took another look at our surroundings and noticed a woman holding a crying baby. I became touched by the way the woman assured the child that everything was alright. I became moved by the song that she began to sing, in her angelic voice. Everything would be alright sweet child, everything would be alright.

Oh but the man, I had briefly forgotten the man. How could I let him wreak havoc with such innocence so close by. Oh how I was wrong before, who was I to decide the fates of all these people. I had to stop him while I still had a chance at redeeming myself.

I leapt off of the bench in a frenzy, determined to stop the impending apocalypse. My shoulder made contact first as I knocked the man down with a flat, dull sound. His briefcase spilled open and papers became strewn everywhere.

"What the hell is your problem, you ****ing psycho?," the man spoke, directed at me.

Perhaps he was just on his way to work...
...
#2
That was amazing. As a preferred prose writer myself, I really appreciated the effort you must have put into this to make it be so effective. I really like the way you build up the climaxed ending, where the swearing works so perfectly. Sorry I can't write more about this, but I have nothing to suggest to improve about it, so all I can do is repeat myself and say that it's great. Good job
Quote by Kensai
Maybe you've heard what the ladies say: "Once you go 77mm you don't go back"
#3
I really enjoyed it as well. It was really well written.

That being said I must ask if it's cool for us to post stories in here. I've got one I'd like to post. It's quite a bit longer than this, however, but I just wanted to make sure with a MOD it was cool to throw it in here or find out where it does belong.
#4
Thanks for the positive comments..

and I hope it is cool for us to post stories in here as I have another one I wouldnt mind putting up
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#5
^of course it is
Quote by Kensai
Maybe you've heard what the ladies say: "Once you go 77mm you don't go back"
#7
I don't like the first sentence (it's a bit too... adjective laiden for my liking) but I completely digged the rest of it.

This part stood out to me whilst I was reading it:

"I brought my eyes back to the man and glanced at his briefcase. Whatever you're up to brother, I'm with you. I will stand by your side and help you usher in a new era. Together we will create change, just let me know how I can do my part. "

And I really thought I had figured out how it was going to turn out, but I was wrong. So, nice little twist you put in there; I like it.

Good work
My God, it's full of stars!