#1
I Don't Care
By: Brian Whyte

You've got so many stupid little problems,
You've got dirty little secrets that haunt your fragile mind,
You think that i can help them fade away,
You try to kill me almost every day,
Dude you've really gone insane
And guess what?....................I don't care

(Chorus)
I dont care, you think i should,
you think i would,
You think i give a damn, rumor has it man that I DON'T CARE

You're worried about your life and how you've lived it,
You listen to the teachings of Nirvana's Kurt Cobain,
It brings you just more pain,
so let the feedback ring,
turn up the gain and realise you've gone insane

(Chorus)

The monkey's on your brain,
smacking your head with a candy cane,
so shut your yap and quit the crap...................coz i don't really care!

(Chorus)
(outro)


Well let me know what you think. crit for crit of course
MIA Fender Strat
Yamaha FG-450S
Crafter 12 string
Orange Rocker 30 combo
Vox AC30CC2
Epi Valve Junior
Fulltone Clyde
Danelectro Free Speech
T.C. Electronic Vintage Dual Distortion
Boss MIJ GE-7 (c1987)
Boss TU2
MXR Phase 90
Artec delay
#3
i really don't see what could be funny about it??
MIA Fender Strat
Yamaha FG-450S
Crafter 12 string
Orange Rocker 30 combo
Vox AC30CC2
Epi Valve Junior
Fulltone Clyde
Danelectro Free Speech
T.C. Electronic Vintage Dual Distortion
Boss MIJ GE-7 (c1987)
Boss TU2
MXR Phase 90
Artec delay
#4
The one thing I think you should work on is how you're gonna depict it. I mean you first are using loose language telling it the way it is, pretty straight forward, and then you suddenly hit us with the verse about monkeys and candy canes. Doesn't fit in at all with the parts before it. Take that out or rewrite the other parts and I think it could have some potential.
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep
#5
One thing I'd fix is the word choice. There are definitely better, more crisp ways to express this. The line "You listen to the teachings of Nirvana's Kurt Cobain" doesn't really fit that well Imo. I think you could take this idea and expand it to make it much better.
Peace.
#6
i agree with nerk13. the monkey think really doesn`t fit to this text. but i like the monkey part really much. let me know if you`ll make another song with it
ABRACADABRA
... f***k! you`re still ugly
#7
eh..................................................<-- see that right there? too much.

It's a little cheesy and it could be phrased better IMO. and don't use "dude". Please.
#8
Quote by mental_zer0
eh..................................................<-- see that right there? too much.

It's a little cheesy and it could be phrased better IMO. and don't use "dude". Please.


oops, i didnt realise i left dude in there, must get rid of it, it's far too cheesy all right
MIA Fender Strat
Yamaha FG-450S
Crafter 12 string
Orange Rocker 30 combo
Vox AC30CC2
Epi Valve Junior
Fulltone Clyde
Danelectro Free Speech
T.C. Electronic Vintage Dual Distortion
Boss MIJ GE-7 (c1987)
Boss TU2
MXR Phase 90
Artec delay