#1
this would be going towards a hardcore tune (screamed), so doesn't need to be too complex I would imagine.

[Verses]
And if it be God's will, let it be mine
I'd never choose fate over trials divine
And if it be God's will, let it be so
Never has strength come from so much woe

So I broke that promise
That desperate promise
That night at half mast
I pledged what i could not give

And now
I pay the price
For paradise

Who is He to call the shots?
But who am I to know?

This time is no different
Stymied me once again
And with the fire and demons I saw through the bars
I know this will be the worst

But with faith in Him
And the determination of years
The hellfire will be nothing
Against me.

[Breakdown]
If only you had told it to my face


the breakdown is going to seem completely unrelated unless you happen to know the story behind the song. which only three people do. so disregard it.

any critique would be much appreciated.

Yours,
R.
"We are what we pretend to be...so we must be careful what we pretend to be."
#2
your song confuses me.... the words......
Quote by ironman1478
im romanian and am offended. most of the people in romania make americans look like autistic kids on ritalin
Quote by ProfessorJim
I'm autistic and on ritalin and am offended. Most autistic kids on ritalin make americans look like romanians.
#3
well I would say good.. I can relate to some of that.. but idk if I could if it is just being screamed.. I cant stand that ****.
#4
Quote by GNR_Duff_rules
your song confuses me.... the words......


What about the words good sir.

And thank you airedale for your thoughts. Screaming is hard to get into, I can understand.
"We are what we pretend to be...so we must be careful what we pretend to be."