#1
.
.
.

Here we go again.

Supposed to be slow/Opeth-y


Regret/Cry My Name


Beating
Your Hearts still beating with the blood of life
From the moor you cry my name
Regretfully turning to me.

I should pay you back for what you've done
But it pains me to stand idly by,
and watch you die.
My heart fills with regret,
I'm growing cold,
But I bet your colder.

My emotions veiled by a mask of flesh,
I cry.
Our hate means nothing as I watch you die.
Snow continues to fall, building up on your brow
As your face grows pale blue

A trickle of blood runs from your mouth
Your heart slows further, to a crawl
And you cry my name,
Frantically praying for an escape.

Solo

Your fingers grow numb
Your becoming pale

Bass solo

I watch you fall
Fall to your knees
As you lose your hope

You've no idea
The pain I'm in

Beating
Your Hearts still beating with the blood of life
From the moor you cry my name
Regretfully turning to me.

Night falls again
Taking whats left of me

The glare of the waning moon beats down on your shivering corpse
As I turn my back and walk away
See you never again.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#3
Thanks, anyone else?
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#4
Wow.. this is really well written.. It uses great imagery to get the point across.. and I can relate.. I can't really critique anything about it though.. cause if ur hearin in ur head what im hearin.. oh yea.. lol crit mine? its in my sig? thanks
#5
Thanks...

I didnt really think about anything, just kinda wrote it up (while listening to Opeth of course)...
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#6
I really don't want to sound like I'm moaning but please crit mine 'Smoke Hearts' I'm completely critless
<3<3
#7
I would if you said anything about mine.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#8
Anyone else?

Dont know if I should change anything...
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"