#1
this is just a short and simple little song I wrote when I was feeling like crap about everything bad I've done in my life.
as always.. always room for improvement.
c4c.


chorus:
tainted my heart, with these sins I've done,
tryed to escape them, but I can't run,
No one can see it but I, a flame inside that just won't die

verse:
killed my own pride, now its all gone,
can't look in the mirror, I'm evils pawn.

chorus:
tainted my heart, with these sins I've done,
tryed to escape them, but I can't run,
No one can see it but I, a flame inside that just won't die

Verse:
regret is one thing, that I can't forget
destroyed my character, troubles worse than debt.

-short little solo-

chorus:
tainted my heart, with these sins I've done,
tryed to escape them, but I can't run,
No one can see it but I, a flame inside that just won't die,

a flame inside that just won't die..a flame inside that just won't die..(fade)
Last edited by airedaletheband at Aug 28, 2006,
#2
Pretty good. Nice dark, guilty feeling. Its fairly short, especially since the stanzas are all so short, so I would like to see more added to this, and maybe go into more detail. The only other thing that bothered me was the rhyming in the chorus. Its ok as is, but I think it would be a lot better if you elaborated more, as there are only really eight differant lines in the song.
#3
yes I do suppose there can be alot more to be added to this, thanks though for at least noticing/critting it as no one else has.