#1
I just wrote this last night, so it's a rough draft and thus a bit sloppy and what-not. I basicly got sick of all the immature "I hate the military/Bush is a poopyhead" songs, so I decided to write one myself. I couldn't think of a decent melody, so I just wrote a poem instead.

To those who are kind enough to leave a crit, leave a link to your piece and I'll get to it as soon as I can. Thank's in advance.


"The Soldier Stands as One"

A man stands alone and looks to the west,
and sees the crimson sun.
He thinks of his Father, who he though always looked best
with a beret and a polished gun.
He then lookes to the north, and sees the flag,
a symbol for the land that was won.
With a tear in his eye, and pride in his hearth,
he now knows what must be done.

The man sit at a dest and signs his name.
He wait's, and is issued a gun.
He get's up at four, walks out to the field,
and goes on a morning run.
After one mile, he takes a rest,
and thinks that he is done.
The drill sergeant shouts "Get back on your feet,
and go another one."

The man stands in a row, with joy in his heart,
and pride that his training is done.
But he is soon to learn that freedom must be earned,
and he, someday, must use his gun.
That day finaly came; He was sent overseas,
to a land where no rivers run.
The air was dry, and the sand was hot,
scorched by the burning sun.

His bullet had entered another man's chest,
who was the enemy, though still someone's son.
When asked of this day, he'd never answer,
but instead say "What's done is done."

The man looks to the west and sees the flag,
basking in the light from the sun.
He looks to his side, and sees every soldier who has died;
The soldiers stand as one.
Carpe diem; Seize the day.

Just be.

Scales are notes, not shapes, boxes, or patterns.
#2
Finally, something decent revolving around war. Awesome job.
#3
lik it m8! very patriotic. i can tell you like the word gun though! still it aint bad i hve friends in so called 'high places' who say its good so keep it up chum!