#1
this song is to a simple but heavy rhythm, to (all power chords) C E and an open D.
It's fast and angry- except for the verse. Very Shinedown-esque.

The snowball's bowled you over
and it took it's time
your feelings they seem weathered
even hard to find
you sit down by the cross
bursting at the seams
you look up at your God
and you start to scream

chorus (Fast and Heavy)
And you kneel
And you pray
but you still won't die
And you heal
And you change
but you still won't speak your mind

Now you find yourself
licking at your wounds
everything came at once
left your faith in ruins
sit down by the alter
bursting at the seams
you clench your fists
and you start to scream

Bridge(Heavier yet, nearly screaming)
Your held inside
no you won't decide
you just let it by
just.. speak.. your... MIND
JUST SPEAK YOUR MIND
JUST SPEAK YOUR MIND
JUST SPEAK

The capitals let you know that Jake (our Lead singer, our band is called And If Not, we're from Staples Minnesota, home of the super-band Juliet and the Mighty Morticians) is screaming his guts out.
#2
wow...that is cool. Especially the chorus i already have the melody in my mind, sounds as a future hit lol
no crits at all...maybe its just a lil short
peace
#4
Quote by blazing glory02
this song is to a simple but heavy rhythm, to (all power chords) C E and an open D.
It's fast and angry- except for the verse. Very Shinedown-esque.

The snowball's bowled you over Bad grammar there.
and it took it's time
your feelings they seem weathered
even hard to find
you sit down by the cross
bursting at the seams
you look up at your God
and you start to scream
Ok, to me this seems very bland and plain, and it really needs more depth.
chorus (Fast and Heavy)
And you kneel
And you pray
but you still won't die
And you heal
And you change
but you still won't speak your mind
I suggest you change "And you pray" to "As you pray"; it fits much better. On the whole this is, again bland and plain, plus that third line doesn't fit with the flow and is generally... bad
Now you find yourself
licking at your wounds
everything came at once
left your faith in ruins
sit down by the alter
bursting at the seams
you clench your fists
and you start to scream
Those same two words... bland and plain, that's all i'm getting here. It's just worded badly i feel.
Bridge(Heavier yet, nearly screaming)
Your held inside Bad spelling, should be "you're" as in "You are" in there.
no you won't decide
you just let it by
just.. speak.. your... MIND
JUST SPEAK YOUR MIND
JUST SPEAK YOUR MIND
JUST SPEAK
Very cliched.
The capitals let you know that Jake (our Lead singer, our band is called And If Not, we're from Staples Minnesota, home of the super-band Juliet and the Mighty Morticians) is screaming his guts out. Sounds fun


Sorry to be negative but i really didn't like this; i hope what i suggested can help you and your band improve it for the better. Good luck