#1
i know it sounds political, and it is - but music is the best way of expression and you can't keep your feelings withdrawn just because too much of a particular topic has been done before. enjoy.

FOREVER REVOLUTION

[Verse 1]

Now is the time
To uncover the grave of lies
And as you search, you'll see
Death staring straight into your eyes

Wake up, from your coma
Open up the blinds
They hid the truth, took away the youth
And put a dagger into your spine

[Chorus]

Spread the notion across the land
Forever Revolution
Together united, we?re making a stand
Forever Revolution

[Verse 2]

Now is the time
To realise we need a change
They robbed the ones, we love
We'll fight them back in exchange

A bullet was taken, for you
So you could be free
Those men suffered the pain, on the fields they'll remain
They?re merely pages in history

[Chorus]

Spread the notion across the land
Forever Revolution
Together united, we?re making a stand
Forever Revolution

[Verse 3]

Now, is the time
To remember those we?ve lost
We never knew them, by name
We know them as our ?freedom?s cost?

Never again, shall we fight for you
And so together we stand
Our will?s you won?t break, our lives you won?t take
We won?t obey your commands.

[Breakdown]

FIGHT! Forever...
STAND! Forever...
STRENGTH! Forever...
Forever!...Forever!...FOREVER REVOLUTION!

as you can see its taken a difference in sound, but it has the same meaning. i might need a few adjustments here and there but overall i think it turned out pretty good. you know the drill, crit4crit.
Last edited by FireFlage at Sep 25, 2006,
#2
yeah...a very good start. Keep posting like this and you'll go far
I like the chorus too. It's nothing too complex but sounds effective. Very good.

could you crit "Your Tears I Wanna Cry" please? It's on my sig. Cheeers
#3
A very good first song, tons of potential here. Your techinique is pretty solid, but I think you're right: you probably do have to hear the music to understand it properly. Songs based on true experiences are always rewarding to write. Keep it up, man...maybe a verse or two more. Cool cool.

And, if you get a chance:
Hand in Hand (Acoustic/Mellow)
#7
wow that was excellent have you got music for it i think that song could go somewhere

umm crit mine maybe its sh*te i know but first song so meh
#8
made another change, realised i reffered to two different groups of people as "they" changed it so its more clear as to what "they" im am talking about in each section....i think.

nah i don't have any music for it at the moment, i'm just working on writing songs than go through and write riffs to em.
Last edited by FireFlage at Sep 25, 2006,
#9
when looking at songs, try to visulize them as a whole, in all their totalatarianism. your ryhthmic balance is to, obvious, consequentially, it sounds to simple. Look at the form of the body on the song its beautiful, so you have the basis, you just need to perfect it
#11
Quote by sambora
when looking at songs, try to visulize them as a whole, in all their totalatarianism. your ryhthmic balance is to, obvious, consequentially, it sounds to simple. Look at the form of the body on the song its beautiful, so you have the basis, you just need to perfect it


HAHA i went and looked at the two songs you've "written" and u should practice what you preach. i don't have a look at how the song is gonna turn out...i just write down everything im feelin on the topic than put it all together into one piece.

i have seen some of your replies and its just nonsense blabbering with no useful (yet alone understandable) criticism.
Last edited by FireFlage at Sep 25, 2006,
#12
great stuff man...I really dont see anything wrong with it besides the mispelling of "realize" I'm guessing this is a punk tune?