#1
still kinda working with it so....yeah, any advice is much appreciated.

Walk along this light of mine,
Catch it as it passes away,
Take a look at your life,
are you feeling satisfied?

I can't be here anymore,
Watch me as a walk away again,
As I go through that door,
You won't see me anymore.

Watch your back this time,
And don't you dare shed a tear,
Yes I really must go,
get away my dear.

I can't be here anymore,
Watch me as I walk away again,
As I go through that door,
You won't see me anymore
You won't see,
You won't see me,
You won't see,
You won't see me anymore,
You won't see me anymore,
You won't see me anymore,

I can't be here anymore,
Watch me as I walk away again,
As I go through that door,
You won't see me anymore.
"there is a man...
playing a violin...
and the strings...
are the veins in his own arm."
#2
what, no one has ANYTHING to say about this?
"there is a man...
playing a violin...
and the strings...
are the veins in his own arm."
#3
It's good, but it kind of lacks something. It's like it builds up, and builds up, and you can kind of feel something coming, and then it just stops.

So, the only thing I can say is to re-arrange some lines to fix that.

Otherwise, good stuff.

Crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=426323
And if ever You come near, I will hold up high a mirror.
Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as You.
#4
i liked it but im not sure how to fix it to make it better.
by the way, your sig is awsome!
UG's HIPPIE