#1
A pretty long and complicated peice I wrote for my band. Tell me what you think.


A Vampire's Pulse

Verse 1
My footsteps seem resonant in this frigid night
Upon these gray dancing stones
That have turned a bloody rust color
The tincture of the liquid trickling from your lips
With doppelganger brands on my neck
I'm sure there's no fleeing fates chains
That enwrap themselves around my ankles each measured move I make

Chorus A
I aimed to escape, to make off with you
With every step I dropped short
Will you extend your hand down?
Or do you only offer it up?

Verse 2
To all those overdone dark suits
Breathing carefully, marking all of their words
Making sure every sound is seduction
Well I'm breaking open this bone on their skulls
No one withdraws from this house with a head

Chorus A

Bridge 1
The expressionless walls will be painted with that pretty color
The color in the iris of your eyes
Constantly appearing to look through my skin
Glaring those silver stakes at my heart

Chorus A

Verse 3
This pulse has been flat lined to long for me to care
And this ground have been stained to much to notice
My body is growing into this floor
It gets drawn closer as every day gives way
With every hour this flesh defiles
I'm decaying with every falsehood I sold
You know, I lied with wire shrouded around my veins

Chorus A

Chorus B
Shock fluctuated as each word glissaded off the red
This red of my tongue
This red of your blood on my tongue

Verse 4
Houses seemed to rot around this infrastructure
Where everyone is in an individual masquerade party
Bodies are the only walls in between them presently
And doors assembled of white white fraudulence

Chorus A

Chorus B

Verse 5
I struggle to twist the handle to your room
But you continuously give me unsound directions
Where do you store that elegant soul of yours
I note no room in that small stale heart
That expanse must have went missing when you ran from me...
The air is tense in your rib cage
And the skin is contracting and white protrudes from the tension
Won't you weigh the errors you're making?

Chorus A

Bridge
You lost your love and lust for life
Because minus me you are nothing

Chorus A

Chorus B

Verse 6
I appear to watch you disappear
Into the ambience of this house
And no one will regard the void
They are all to busy administering their own acts
Stage one is set
Lights, camera, and action
CUT CUT CUT!
The dialect is out of place
You've made the brown eyed boy cry once more
With those misquoted scripts
You can't refashion these words
To form around your sick sick fantasies
Kill these lights and make this platform black
I don't want to see your face anymore
I don't want to see your pretty face anymore...
Oh who am I kidding...
I No Know Karatea In My Soup
#2
if you seriously wrote that that tells me three things: you are a very intricate and detailed writeer, you should maybe spend more time outside of your room with friends and other living things, and that you are very very crazy for making this into a 20 minute song. other than that though, it was really well done.
Quote by pumpkins_rule
I'd need to see a picture of his penis.
#3
lol, other then the small comments in the beginning, thanks for the comment. ^_^. I'll be posting some of the other lyrics for my bands EP in a weeks time.
I No Know Karatea In My Soup
#4
lyrics are pretty in depth(i like that I wish me band would let me do that). LONG AS HELL THOUGH! You coulda probably got 2 songs outta it though. I wanna hear the music if you have it. I wanna see what that would go to. Are you death metal(i hope not because that would ruin it) or are you an atreyu kinda guy?
#5
the only thing...it's way too long. otherwise, good, detailed writing
#6
Thats good writing except its kinda creepy. I also couldnt help in reading with the tune of vampires will never hurt you by my chemical romance. therre are some similarities.