#1
Something I wrote in about 5 minutes lol, crit for crit?

Soap suds,
Line the tiled floor,
In shapes remarkable,
To footprints,
And she stands,
Butt-naked,
Cold;
And slightly shivvering,
Condensation,
Lines steamy mirrors,
In breaths,
She stares;
And tear-ducts fill,
With salt-stained emotion,
And degrading self-esteem,
So 'panda-eyes',
Mark hatred holes,
In something less expensive,
But self respect,
Costs little to achieve,
Although;
She's lost it all,
'Monopoly money'
And all that 'bull',
So blood,
Lines the tiled floor,
In shapes remarkable,
To foot prints,
And she lies,
Butt-naked,
cold.
<3<3
#2
Has anyone ever told you that you are incredibly good with imagery? I don't really see how you would work this into a song, but, either way, its very good. Maybe you should try your hand in writing actual stories or something, because, based on this, I know I would read them.

Not to sound like Im only critting for a crit, but, if you could crit mine when you have time, I'd appreciate it.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=426323
And if ever You come near, I will hold up high a mirror.
Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as You.