#1
Hey all.

I just finished the rough draft of the music composition I'm handin in for my GCSE and I'd really appreciate some criticism on it.

Heres a link:
http://djspexx.dmusic.com/

And here's a list of thing I need to imporve so far:

-There are some timing mistakes on most of the double-tracked and harmonised parts
-There are one or two errors on the bass
-The acoustic guitar tone is horrible, and the Solo one isn't so great
-It sounds muddy at times
-The solo needs to sound more fluent
-I need a new ending for the solo (by that I mean the part with the pinch harmonics doesn't fit with the rest)
-And I need to re-record and possibly re-write the bit after the solo

Like I said, this is only my rought draft and I need to get this as close to awesome as possible, so don't hold back.

#2
cymbals are too loud. you know everything thats wrong with it! you named it!!! i like the song, but you dont need any critism as you stated nearly all that was bad about it.

um, the song has no true ending

ps that damn crash is annoying now!!

pps 2:07 bit rocks ass

2:20 is awful

2:35 is good however!


ppps

fix those problems and work on a couple of bits and that will definately get you through GCSE ( i wouldnt know i never did music at school, i can barely read music let alone compose)
crit me! https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=426077
Last edited by NeptuneUK at Sep 3, 2006,
#3
Quote by NeptuneUK
cymbals are too loud. you know everything thats wrong with it! you named it!!! i like the song, but you dont need any critism as you stated nearly all that was bad about it.

um, the song has no true ending

ps that damn crash is annoying now!!

pps 2:07 bit rocks ass

2:20 is awful

2:35 is good however!


ppps

fix those problems and work on a couple of bits and that will definately get you through GCSE ( i wouldnt know i never did music at school, i can barely read music let alone compose)
crit me! https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=426077


2.20 is awful? that took me longer than the rest put together... do you mean like the idea is awful or the timing and whatnot? I asked a freind and he agreed with you on the crash, so thats getting fixed for my next draft, thanks for the criticism and I'll follow that link now
#6
^ Yeah, I'm using an Alesis SA16 which was £60 off eBay, but you can probably find a decent free drum machine online if you look hard enough. Unfortunately I only realised that a couple of weeks after buying mine....

Quote by NeptuneUK
the timing is out.


So otherwise it'd be alright? I'm moving that bit back anyway, I'm gonna start off the solo with something slower then speed it up for the end and go out with a bang I think. But I'm not sure yet, early days and all
#7
I think the crash is a tad anoying and that the heavy part doesn't blend in very well with the heavy one...
the heart is a risky fuel to burn
#8
Well I am enjoying the music so far, I think you need to work on the mix, some od the drums are too loud then some are to quiet. I didnt like the whole switch from the clean tone to the heavy tone, but that is just me, kinda SOAD style, I dont really like it. But hey, I guess your going for your own stuff. I'd still say the whole clean tone works better, and I like the other heavy part though, maybe keep the clean tone in there until the last heavy part, the one with the gallops and everything, cause I liked that way better. Just gotta fix it up a bit like you said, but work on the mix alot.
anybody wanna put anything here just let me know
#9
I thought the transition from kinda soft to the heavy guitar was pretty good. Hope you win, I did notice something wasn't right around 2:05 tho.
Quote by Zinnie
god placed the fossils in earth to confuse the humans into thinking that earth is older than it actually is, therefore, making men try and think outside the box....

just kidding, there is no god



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#10
I really loved it man.

I think you have the key parts of a really really good song hear, i think you know what issues you need to sort so there's not much i can say really.

What year are you in school? And what marks do you think your teacher will give you for this?

I'm taking GCSE music when i go back and i'm a bit worried because i'm poor composing wise so i'm trying to get all the informaiton that i can get.
Need.New.Sig.
#11
Quote by slash_620
I really loved it man.

I think you have the key parts of a really really good song hear, i think you know what issues you need to sort so there's not much i can say really.

What year are you in school? And what marks do you think your teacher will give you for this?

I'm taking GCSE music when i go back and i'm a bit worried because i'm poor composing wise so i'm trying to get all the informaiton that i can get.


Don't sweat it, I can't compose to save my life, that started off as a song idea that I got when I was listening to God Forbid at the gym, composing can be anything so that's no big deal. All that I'd say to you is if you want to do well i nmusic, you're gonna hve to listen to some classical at some point, which, admittedly, is something that's been on on my To Do List for the past 12 months or so.

I'm just going into year 11 and I think that a polished off version of this might get me a B,possibly an A if I'm very lucky and my teacher's in a very good mood.
#12
I'm doing GSCE music aswell (year 11 this year)...what are you submitting this under?

Sounds good, but I think you realise all the mistakes, there are timing errors but they're not that noticable....recording sounds quite buzzy to me, and better drums are needed, but it's a fairly well thought out piece, except the ending doesn't really exist, try something kinda stop start, like... DU...DU DU....DU DU DU... DU. Lol, hard to explain in text.

Wish you luck with your GCSE's...they're a bugger.

If you could crit mine I'd be very grateful:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6728811#post6728811

Cheers!