#1
This is my first post so here goes....

Outer Heaven

White will turn to crimson
As honour dies amongst a clouded sky
Now war is fought for profit
And greed is hidden in the face of pride

The fuse is burning faster
How much longer will I last for?
I have battled gods and demons
But Ill be damned if I let this world end

Chorus

I?m being flanked by evil
Hypnotism, this disease will
Filter out the worst
But will the hero suffer first

Wise men pull the strings on me
But I?m too weak to cut this old man free
Fighting is my only virtue
But some legends have to die

Break down

I am not the same
I will not walk the path my father laid
But we have never changed
Our past is burnt with horrors I can?t name

Chorus

I?m being flanked by evil
Hypnotism, this disease will
Filter out the worst
But will the hero suffer first

Interlude

My path is set on a knife?s edge
All is lost if I fall and lose my way
But I can learn from my past
I won?t fall yet, I won?t die this way

Chorus

I?m being flanked by evil
Hypnotism, this disease will
Filter out the worst
But will the hero suffer first

My band plays that song, it was based on a generalised history of the video game metal gear solid.
#2
hello

the first thing i notice, that i find it slightly long, but original, in a geekish way (no offence mate), but also kinda personal. i like some rhymes in it, and not bad at all overall. 7/10

please rate and review mine...link is in the sig (i don't expect a full crit, just a few lines like mine)