#1
This is my FIRST EVER attemp at writing ANYTHING, its probably rubbish but it made me feel a little better trying to write down my feelings and stuff. Anyway - Crit 4 Crit and be as honest as you like, like I said its my first ever attempt so I wasn't expecting great things!!

Thanks in advance


Love lost or never there

Tangled in confusion
My thoughts and memories
Of something that was, or maybe wasn?t
Could or could not have been

Despair & discontent
Rendezvous with exhilaration & delight
Life turned round & upside down
Impossible to distinguish wrong from right

Love seemed a forbidden fantasy
Not sordid but just not allowed
It conquered my mind & twisted my thoughts
Drowning out other sites & sounds

My truth is hard to realize
It seems abstract even to me
Was love lost or never there
I guess with time we will see
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I was there for SD's cocksucking forum, August 15th, 2006.
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Last edited by kelix at Sep 5, 2006,
#2
If you don't want to get your thread closed, change the name of your thread to the title of your song. JUST the title of your song (no crit 4 crit or any of that in the title).

Nice first effort. But you spelled "realize" incorrectly
Hi, I'm Peter
#3
Quote by Dirk Gently
If you don't want to get your thread closed, change the name of your thread to the title of your song. JUST the title of your song (no crit 4 crit or any of that in the title).

Nice first effort. But you spelled "realize" incorrectly


Thanks & thanks Ill change it now
Member of The Darkness fanclub
I was there for SD's cocksucking forum, August 15th, 2006.
The Cas Fast Foundation - pm draken to join and support cas on his 30 food free days.
#4
Quote by kelix
Thanks & thanks will Ill change it now

Actually, I was just kidding about the realize thing (Americans spell it with a z, everyone else spells it with an s). But I wasn't kidding about the title
Hi, I'm Peter
#6
Thanks who ever changed the name of the thread for me. Much appreciated!

Doesnt look like anyone wants to crit my writing Oh well lol
Member of The Darkness fanclub
I was there for SD's cocksucking forum, August 15th, 2006.
The Cas Fast Foundation - pm draken to join and support cas on his 30 food free days.