#1
Hey all,
I have been looking through the great work you guys n girls have done and the level of critiquing that goes on here so I thought it might be worth showing some of my stuff and getting constructive criticism.

<Verse 1.>
Sit in silence, read the paper,
Solitary second side,
Say the world isn't so scary,
(But) open doors and close your eyes.

Nature runs course through us,
Sadistic hill, fearless snowball,
Though it started as a fragment,
(Now it) has the force to make me fall,

With a wicked grin it travels,
Through your gut and watches you,
Waiting for a whitened winter,
Life is too wild for you.

Picture perfect on the in,
With broken glass that's poking out,
Patchy frame depicts your soul,
(Pain of) exposure makes you shout.

As the inanimate ressurect,
They feed on our shallow remain,
Straight-faced, we deny the burden,
And dance in the razor rain!

<Chorus.> (Repeat x2)
We stay calm / day to day and ignore the fact that,
Destruction / is facing us straight in the eyes,
Blinding us / to the re-ality of it all,
We're nothing / but a bunch of deer in the deadlights.

<Verse 2.>
The illness clouds your movement,
A marionette of malice act,
Numb to the strength of pain,
Cold-hearted promise, icy pact.

Leading this brigade of soldiers,
On their way to the final fight,
Is this nightmare just a dream?
Have you a lying sense of sight?

Slowly it comes back to you,
And memories they flood your heart,
But they are killed by the resistance,
You are now back at the start.

With your mind you find the key,
That secures you to their realm,
You turn with all your mental strength,
And finally you overwhelm.

For now the inanimate die off,
They've fed on our shallow remain,
Solemn-faced, we denied the burden,
And kept dancing in the razor rain!

(Chorus.)

.... Deer in the deadlights!
.... Deer in the deadlights!
.... We're nothing!
But a / bunch of / deer in the deadlights!