#1
Posted a couple of times before but this is my first finished piece, appreciate any comments you have to make an if you leave a link il get back and comment on yours.


Why do we wake up? the one thing ive never understood
the very being of our existence, an existence so meaningless
every breath we take what do we take it for?
just to live another day we've all seen before

Eat, Sh*t, Fu*k, Sleep
Eat, Sh*t, Fu*k, Sleep
scimming through life no more than skin deep
Eat, Sh*t, Fu*k, Sleep
Eat, Sh*t, Fu*k, Sleep
scimming through life no more than skin deep

You want nothing from life,so you give nothing more
your contribution to life, is your everyone's whor*
"Fu*k me im a slut",
Id sooner fu*k you up
beat you unconcious an then wake you up
to reality,
I'm acting out of pity
to save you from your kind all of the same mind
you're stagmating,
the potential is there
yet you walk with closed eyes and seem unaware
that with a little effort you could make something of yourself,
the fullfillment of life don't revolve around wealth
of the material form
so why do you conform
to the standards set by others
the orthodox
the norm?

(spoken) the ordinary man is the curse of our civilization

Rows of brick prisons
are what make up our streets
neighbours are nameless, not one smile for weeks
i say to hell with this system,
cause i have ambition
to gain something from life that too many's are missing

you should forget your roots and all you've got
before you fall into line and slowly rot
in the pit that is
our modern society
inhabited by drones of the robotic family,
so content with mediocrity
but how can you be?
a life with no goals and nothing to achieve
your existence is futile, your life aint worth while
work till the end of the week then retart the cycle

Eat, Sh*t, Fu*k, Sleep
Eat, Sh*t, Fu*k, Sleep
scimming through life no more than skin deep
Eat, Sh*t, Fu*k, Sleep
Eat, Sh*t, Fu*k, Sleep
scimming through life no more than skin deep

I hate the uneducated
I hate the ignorant
I hate the snobs
and i hate the complacent
I hate the jealous, the resentful
the mean and the unfaithful
and the dull and ordinary who aren't ashamed that they are so
I fu*kin hate these people
the average people
with their money, cars and tellies and their stupid vulgarities
out for noone but themselves and not givin a sh*t
about their fellow man
an the world they inhabit
how is it our race has come to this?

(spoken) the ordinary man is the curse of our civilization
#2
First of all, the fact that you took the time to sit down and write a song deserves credit. Good job.

My $0.02..

There's a point there.. somewhere.. but it seems way over the top. Too many words.
Too casual. Too many cliches. It's a song we've heard a trillion times before and will continue hearing until the day we're extinct.

Eat.. $hit.. F--k.. ZzzZZzz.. I don't know. Just sounds too empty and evasive of what you're really trying to say here.

It's also rather one-sided. There's no story or message here, no clash of ideas or thoughts, nothing to make you ponder the words or contemplate their meaning -- instead, only self pity, bickering, whining and finger pointing.

However, if you take a few elements of the song, strip them down to their essentials (e.g. without saying the obvious -- "less is more") there is a hidden message here many people can relate too.

Ironically, your song needs more humanity.
#3
i agree with most of your points actually after lookin at it again especially the "eat, $hit..." part. bit lazy but i needed to get a bit of sleep before work n just wanted to finish it soon as. theres a lot of words but it only lasts about 2 minutes n its speedcore so u cant tell a single word thats said anyway! cheers for the comment
#5
in further response to vaiagras comment its one sided because im criticising a certain breed of people, the general message behind it is theres more to life than owning a good car, a house and what your going to watch on tele that night, and criticising a way of life where the same week is pretty much lived over and over again. you dont have to contemplate the meaning of my words because i get straight to the point about what im saying. theres no real element of self pity its more a personal attack and a wake up call to people who i feel could have a much more fullfilling life if they didnt care so much about the materialistic way of life that so many seem to hold dear. Im not saying you should live how i say i just pity a lot of people i meet