#1
I understand
The hidden implications
buried beneath your inherent kindness
Spare me
spare me this kind pretense, it's clear what you want
and I have seen you changing all along
And yet I still wonder
After what we've been through
How you could just end it in a week
Rearrangement, disengagement, adpatation to a new life
Casting away the shroud of your past
Introductions, realizations, disassociations
Attachment slowly fading away
Empty words are ringing in my ears

Chorus:
You Said you'd always be there
But now I see you dont' care
I just hope you come around
Smash this illusion of us running aground

There was love, I swear I saw it
Vivid remembrance of what we had
The words you whispered, were they really true?
What you wrote, what we did, what you said
are memories locked tight in my desperate head
A day is a week, a month, a year
Your absence in my life is killing me
What we had could be grown again
But will you be the same?
No matter how hard I try to bury the past
In my heart, this hope will forever last
My intuition tells me you're through
But I could never ever have given up on you
Just give me achance before you move on for good (or have you already?)

Chorus

Breakdown:

Just tell me how you really feel
Don't drag this along
I'll wait missng you
Till you tell me I'm utterly wrong


It seems so plain to me we're over
No chance in the future despite your feigned optimism
On with your new life, ever changing
Other problems overshadow our past in your mind
Have you forgotten so quickly?
I could never forget, you're burned into my heart and mind
Your little white lies don't phase me
Tell me how it really is
The love you showed, you could show again
Never let it slip away
But does absence make the heart grow fonder?
Remember the blissful embrace and kiss
The time we shared I'm sure you miss
Here I'll wait and pray till the day you come and say I love you its ok

Chorus and fade
Last edited by googs185 at Sep 7, 2006,
#2
I'm sorry to bump this but I worked really hard on this and just edited it a bit, id really appreciate any criticism. Thanks!!
#3
i like it..you needa break it up so its easier to read....good word choice...nuffin to improve on..great how it is
keep on keepin on
peace out
UG's HIPPIE
#4
Sorry that you had to go without a crit. Anyways, I liked this piece. The language was simple and easy to understand, and I can appreciate that. It was a beautiful song, without being too flowery. On paper, the song seemed to lack flow, but if it works when it is actually sung then that's no problem. Nice job.

Crit mine please?

RH Factor