#1
Alright here's the deal. I'm sure you might've heard this a million times but I'm in a tough situation. I've got a progressive/experimental band and I just don't know what to do with my other guitarist. The thing is, we never really invited him into the band. We used to be in another band together before and as soon as he heard that me and my drummer were starting a band, he decided to invite himself over to our practice. Considering the band is fresh and we still have room to explore, I didn't make a big deal about it and I let him jam with us.

So here's why we (the band) want him out:
He's obssesed with effect pedals and just screwing around (I'm talking like those pointless soundwalls that The Mars Volta did a lot in Frances the Mute that were very annoying and pointless). Okay, we're an experimental band but that doesn't mean we revolve around effect pedals. I don't even know if he's a good guitarist because he ALWAYS has to have an effect pedal on. Another thing that bothers us is the fact that his amp owns all of ours, so because of this, he always turns up so much higher than me and my bassist. The times he's practiced with us, he just starts showing off his effects and playing random crap, not paying attention to the rest of us. When we try to start working on a song he rarely listens. Out of five practices (with him), we were only able to actually make music once. Since then he's considered himself a part of the band and he's always eager to have a practice and tells us he has new material (which usually ends up being a simple riff covered up in effects to sound cool).

Here's why I can't get myself to tell him to leave:
He's an awesome guy and he's a pretty good friend of mine. He's definitely got a passion for music as he's always eager to jam with us. Also, considering we live in Miami and there is barely no music scene down here, no band would pick him up. He's got potential but he just doesn't know how to use it. I have the impression that if I tell him to leave he'll be pretty offended and he'll obviously be hurt but then again we can't make progress with him slowing down the band.


So please give me some tips on how I can get him out of the band without coming off as a jerk about it.
#2
why don't u first ask him to calm down on the playing? less effects, and lower volume.
Originally Posted by evening_crow
Quoting yourself is cool.


WARNING: I kill threads.
#3
I've been through this SO many times. You just sort of jam with them once and you dont tell them there in the band but they just assuem they are and you end up jamming with them every week but you dont want to tell them to leave. I've tried a whole crapload of stuff but the best way is to just flat out tell them. They might be a little mad for a couple days or so but theyll get over it. If you be an ass and tell them so ****ed up way, theyre not gona want to tlak to you anymore. So if you still want to be this guys friend just tell him. If you dont want to be his friend be an ass and kick him out some really funny way.
#5
Quote by evening_crow
why don't u first ask him to calm down on the playing? less effects, and lower volume.


I've tried to tell him to chill with the effects. He just doesn't. I've told him to lower the volume and he does it but then has the sudden urge to turn up half-way through a song.
#6
I'd suggest before trying to get rid of him, talk to him about how things are going. Say you want to keep going with him, but that he needs to pay attention to where the band is moving, and that means keeping volume down on the guitar so that everyone can be heard, knowing when to use an effect etc.

The guy is a geniune friend and has a passion to make music. These are rare things to find, and you'll miss them if you throw him out. Most musicians tend to seem competitive and mercenary in my experience, and so finding one who you can get along with is a goldmine. But you should talk to him, nicely, about how he's disrupting things. I've had a similar experience with a member of a group i've played in. The guy would turn up to practice but spent most of the time widdling, always had the amp too loud etc. We're trying to get things to work as they are though, and i'd recommend you do the same.

Also, if you decide you don't want to continue with him in the group, it seems much more fair if you've given him a warning on how things aren't working beforehand. It's really hard to take when friends suddenly turn around and tell you they don't want to play with you anymore. If you've at least told him in advance that, while he's a good guitarist/musician, he's putting people off by showing off, its up to him to try and cut back. Also, don't forget that the guy has things he wants too. Let him include some strange effects in songs, and don't get jealous because he has a cool amp.
#7
Don't talk to him about it at the practice. Make a point to discuss with him how things in the band are going. If does something like turn up at the next band practice, remind him. If he goes ahead and does it again, talk to the others at some point, and then tell him that it isn't going to work out.
#8
I believe its called...minage a trois?
Ah get born, keep warm
Short pants, romance, learn to dance
Get dressed, get blessed
Try to be a success
#9
you're in miami and theres no music scene??? helllo poison the well is from miami
Member #23 of the Official I Hate Guns N' Roses Club

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*middle finger*
#10
well having an effect pedal on isn't bad i mean look at tom morello he is motlly known for his trippy guitar solos and weird distortion

but as an experimental band having that sort of creative lookat good is good but it's also a downfall, since he is a good friend HE WILL LISTEN TO YOU and if he doesn't then he isn't a friend
#11
Tell him to shape up or get out. (damn how does that saying go?)
DANNY

Quote by kevinm4435 to some guy
hey d00d i herd u dont like shred u r a genius 4 thinkin dat. all shred is fukin lame wit no soul u no wat im sayin??
#12
I split with my band (who are my best friends) and things turned out fine. I'm still good friends with the guys...
Quote by spazzymagee417
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#13
don't beat around the bush...tell him straightforward how to improve as a musician and become more of an asset than a liability to the band; in this case, it's laying off the self-indulgence and learning to serve a song in general and making music...if he does his job, you can give him a few bars for a solo to feed his need to crank it up and load with effects
Quote by BigFatSandwich
it took you 15 consecutive hours of practice to realize that playing guitar makes you better at playing guitar. congratulations.


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#14
Quote by axe_grinder247
don't beat around the bush...tell him straightforward how to improve as a musician and become more of an asset than a liability to the band; in this case, it's laying off the self-indulgence and learning to serve a song in general and making music...if he does his job, you can give him a few bars for a solo to feed his need to crank it up and load with effects

so when in a band situation and your playing lead guitar and you are a libility
is that how the band rewards you, witha guitar solo
?
#15
Quote by macabalony
so when in a band situation and your playing lead guitar and you are a libility
is that how the band rewards you, witha guitar solo
?


i was going for "he's ruining the song so there is no guitar solo at all"

i don't know about you, but i tend to see the creation/writing of a song as a whole, and when someone with a load of effects and ego wants to wank non-stop, it kind of ruins the vision, don't you agree?
Quote by BigFatSandwich
it took you 15 consecutive hours of practice to realize that playing guitar makes you better at playing guitar. congratulations.


Quote by Sharp_as_steel
Axe_grinder pwns!!!!



Member #2 of the "Official UG Teabaggers' Cult". PM Slayer224 to join.
#16
you think you got problems? there was a spider on the grape i just ate but i didnt know until i swallowed it.


seriously though, one of my best friends used to be in my band, and hes a great guitar player, but he didnt really seem to fit in with the band anymore. he would just kinda improvise all the time and not learn any part/ stick to ones that he wrote. so after a while we told him that it wasnt working out and he understood completely and he is still our good friend to this day. id give him another chance then explain to him what hes doing to make you guys want to kick him out. a 3 piece instrumental band is a lot tighter and easier to coordinate in the long run anyways, so thats my advice.