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#82
Quote by insideac
Im spanish you prick. . Its all in good fun you idiot.

Anyways.

Why do black people have white hands and feet?
Everyone has SOME good in them.



Quote by remember
y are black peoples palms and bottom of there feet white.
cuz theres a little bit of good in everybody.


insideac, you suck.
#83
Quote by st.jimmy4091680
Whats faster then a speading bullet....a Jew with a coupon


hilarious
#84
Oh nd i got another one lol ok ...
at school the kids were told to go to the black board and write something exciting about heir weekend.so Jake goes up there and writes a period..the teacher asks why and he goes welll my sister missed hers...my parents freaked out.....and then the neighbor killed himself
#85
You all are gonna burn in the deepest part of hell!!!
No, thats not a joke, i'm serious!!..
Now thats a joke!
Anyway, i havent seen any blonde jokes yet, so to start off:

Q. What should you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Catch it, pull out the pin and thow it back at him!

Q. What do you call a smart blonde?
A. A golden retriever.

Q. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade:Who has the biggest tits?
A. The blonde, because she's 18.

Q. Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
A. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.


and more random **** to join u guys in hell...

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration

Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . They don't have balls to scratch!

Q. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.

Q. What's the difference between a bitch and a *****?
A. A ***** sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?
A. You know she'll swallow.

Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

Q. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A. No one to talk to during orgasm.

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.

alrite.. and last one for now!!

Q. How can you tell a macho women?
A. She rolls her own tampons.

Hope u guys enjoy it and remember it to find something to laugh about in hell!!
#87
Quote by st.jimmy4091680
Oh nd i got another one lol ok ...
at school the kids were told to go to the black board and write something exciting about heir weekend.so Jake goes up there and writes a period..the teacher asks why and he goes welll my sister missed hers...my parents freaked out.....and then the neighbor killed himself


dont get it..
#88
Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?
A. You know she'll swallow.

funny, i had never even heard of ethiopian jokes before i started this thread
#89
how can u tell if an ethiopian woman is pregnant?
hold her up to the light
#91
A doctor comes back from checking out a new born baby that had some difficulty being born.
He says to the parents, "I have some good news, and some bad news. Ok, the bad news is that the baby's ginger, the good news is that its dead!"

Or something along the lines of that.

Q.Why did they invent milky buttons?
A.So black kids can have messy faces too.

Q.Whats the worst thing you can do to an african person?
A.Put him in a circular room and tell him his dinner's in the corner.
#93
Why dont black guys have dreams?


Cause the last black guy who had a dream got shot.
Originally Posted by Corwinoid
Metal doesn't hold hands, it gets head in the van before the show. Seriously.


Profile
#94
NOTE: I mean absolutely no offense in this and respect both Steve and Peter.

Steve Irwin greats Peter Brock in heaven and asks, "How did you get your halo so fast?"
Peter: "It's a steering wheel..."

Also

Steve sees Peter come through the pearly gates and states "CRICKEY! Don't tell me you were driving a Stingray?"

I know he was driving a Porche not a Stingray (I'm a Chevy fan)
And again, I intend NO OFFENSE - R.I.P Steve Irwin and Peter Brock.

-EDIT-
I'm inbetween two of the same joke...
*shrugs* I don't know...
#95
why dont black people dream?


Because.....


the last one who had a dream got shot.
Quote by BigFatSandwich
it took you 15 consecutive hours of practice to realize that playing guitar makes you better at playing guitar. congratulations.


Quote by snowbert
SMOKE UN-DER WATER!!!


#96
Quote by Jaykib
NOTE: I mean absolutely no offense in this and respect both Steve and Peter.

Steve Irwin greats Peter Brock in heaven and asks, "How did you get your halo so fast?"
Peter: "It's a steering wheel..."

Also

Steve sees Peter come through the pearly gates and states "CRICKEY! Don't tell me you were driving a Stingray?"

I know he was driving a Porche not a Stingray (I'm a Chevy fan)
And again, I intend NO OFFENSE - R.I.P Steve Irwin and Peter Brock.


Aside from the fact that it's too early to joke about his death; those jokes were crap. Not even slightly funny.
#97
Quote by mr_hankey
Aside from the fact that it's too early to joke about his death; those jokes were crap. Not even slightly funny.


Do you think they were intended to be funny? Lighten up.

Plus dude if someone does giggle over them (I hope not) it's a thread for this type of thing and I mean no offense by it, if you can't handle it don't pass comment just go to a different thread.

I even said Rest in Peace + Sorry out loud before posting just to state so pft, just sharing what I've heard...
*shrugs* I don't know...
#98
Quote by Jaykib
Do you think they were itnended to be? Dude it's a thread for this type of thing and I mean no offense by it, if you can't handle it don't pass comment just go to a different thread.
I even said Rest in Peace + Sorry out loud before posting so pft, just sharing what I've heard...


You misunderstood.

I meant: forgetting who the jokes are about, and if it is offensive or not; the jokes suck...not funny due to the jokes themself, not the people who are in them.


EDIT:
I have no problem joking about Steve Irwin's death, as long as the joke is funny.
Here is one I read in another thread (I hope it wasn't in this thread):


How many crocodile's does it take to kill Steve Irwin?


A stingray.
Last edited by mr_hankey at Sep 10, 2006,
#99
Quote by visa
That made absoulutely no sense how do you tie your shoes in little nazi's?


Knot-sies. Say it in a cute, baby-ish way.
Quote by dudetheman
So what? I wasted like 5 minutes watching DaddyTwoFoot's avatar.


Metalheads are the worst thing that ever happened to metal.
#100
yeah those jokes sucked
Quote by BigFatSandwich
it took you 15 consecutive hours of practice to realize that playing guitar makes you better at playing guitar. congratulations.


Quote by snowbert
SMOKE UN-DER WATER!!!


#101
Quote by mr_hankey
You misunderstood.

I meant: forgetting who the jokes are about, and if it is offensive or not; the jokes suck...not funny due to the jokes themself, not the people who are in them.


My mistake, I apologise - I just typed them because my brother had a few txts with them [the "jokes"]...
I didn't find them funny either, just simple ones you know, but again, I thought I'd put them up here anyway...
*shrugs* I don't know...
Last edited by Jaykib at Sep 10, 2006,
#102
whats red and crawls up a womans leg?
a homesick abortion

Whats red, silver and walks into walls?
a baby with forks in its eyes

What's red, bubbly and scratches at the window?
a baby in a microwave

What's red and hangs from the ceiling?
a baby on a meat hook

Whats the perfect gift for a dead baby?
a dead puppy!

Whats better than nailing a baby to a wall?
ripping it off

And two beatles jokes to finish it off:

What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
3 more bullets

Why can't you go to the restroom at a Beatles concert???
There's no John!!!
#103
why is buttsecks like spinach?
because if your forced to have it as a kid you wont enjoy it as an adult

how long does it take a black lady to take a sh*t?
9 months

what happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall?
he breaks his nose
Quote by ToolBass_dude
Look on youtube.com- search "rediculously hard classical **** that no one in their right mind would try" and you'll find some 5 year old asian kids playing it
#104
whats faster than the black guy running out your living room with your tv?


his brother with the vcr
Go to real hardcore shows.
#105
Quote by Jaykib
Do you think they were intended to be funny? Lighten up.

Plus dude if someone does giggle over them (I hope not) it's a thread for this type of thing and I mean no offense by it, if you can't handle it don't pass comment just go to a different thread.

I even said Rest in Peace + Sorry out loud before posting just to state so pft, just sharing what I've heard...


I giggled.
Quote by thewho65
What if I want my c*ck to smell like an egg roll?



GENERATION 9: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
#106
Quote by THE JEWISH AFRO
What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
3 more bullets
do you mean 2? or is paul real tough?
#107
Quote by Gemini
I giggled.

Fair enough...?
*shrugs* I don't know...
#108
Evil jokes crack me up. How 'bout this one?

There's this dad, sitting with his three kids. One of them says "Daddy, why is my name Rose?" The dad says "Well, honey, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal fell on your head. So we decided to call you Rose." The other said, "Daddy, why am I called Daisy?" And the dad said, "Well, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy petal fell on your head. So we decided to call you Daisy." Then the third kid says, "Abthosbsbbsbspt!!!" And the dad says, "Shut up, Fridge."
You will find me as cute as your favourite nephew
Until I break your knees with a baseball bat
You will find me so kind, I'll be someone you like
Until I brush your teeth with a razorblade
#109
Quote by THE JEWISH AFRO


What's red, bubbly and scratches at the window?
a baby in a microwave

Ohh... I love dead baby jokes, but that one almost made me throw up.
You will find me as cute as your favourite nephew
Until I break your knees with a baseball bat
You will find me so kind, I'll be someone you like
Until I brush your teeth with a razorblade
#111
Me: Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

God: go to hell
...
#112
the correct pluralisation of penis is penises because a word has to end in 'us' to be pluralised as 'ii' sorry.

what's the definition of a barcode?
an Ethiopian family picture

How many Ethiopians can you fit in a bath?
As many as you want, they keep falling through the plug
Quote by skeptopotamus
There's a 30 minute grace period. It gives you time to forget again, or else you just be crouched in a dark, dusty basement corner, rocking back and forth proclaiming "I lost the game...I lost the game...I lost the game..."


#113
What do black people and apples have on common?
They both hang from trees


How do you start a ****** stampede?
Toss a quarter down the street


How did the redneck mom find out her daughter was pregnant?
She tasted it on her husband's dick

Whats the common term for a white man dancing?
Epilepsy

What do you call a mexican without a lawnmower?
unemployed.


and lastly . . . . .

What's metal and full of holes?


. . . . . . .


A colander
Quote by Zeppelin08
I busted a nut because my g-string was too tight.




Quote by rexreeper99
Hendrix. he played jazz right? lol. im real bad with names.

i guess jazz could work




add me up http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/cactus/
#114
Quote by stormchaser
Evil jokes crack me up. How 'bout this one?

There's this dad, sitting with his three kids. One of them says "Daddy, why is my name Rose?" The dad says "Well, honey, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal fell on your head. So we decided to call you Rose." The other said, "Daddy, why am I called Daisy?" And the dad said, "Well, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy petal fell on your head. So we decided to call you Daisy." Then the third kid says, "Abthosbsbbsbspt!!!" And the dad says, "Shut up, Fridge."



haha
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#115
What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead blck guy on the road?
There are tire marks leading in front of the dog.
Quote by beadhangingOne
What happened to Snake?

Snake?

Snake?

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE?!


Quote by TunerAddict
you can take my mouse and keyboard from my cold, slightly orange from cheetos, dead fingers


Quote by Baby Joel
Isis is amazing
#118
I was speaking to a Jewish guy today

Me: My grandafther died in WWII y'know
Jewish guy: How, was he put in a gas chamber?
Me: Nah, he fell out the watch tower
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#119
What was Jesus' last words to Mary Magdeline (sp?) while on the cross?

Answer- I'd tap that.
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#120
3 Chavs drive off a cliff in a Vaxhaull Nova whats wrong?

there are 5 seats ina Nova


you can change the word chavs for any group of people you hate