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#161
Quote by tard on tour
why do pakis smell?

so blind people can hate them too

Yeah, dude that one just totally sucked. Sucked the dick of some peudophile sicky ass jokes ****.

I'm from England and get Mexican jokes, we had to study mexico in Geography so yeah... we get them.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#162
This one fits my mood against lil kids right now..the fecking retarded annoying neighbor kids won't get out of my yard and house! Grrr.

How do you keep kids out of your backyard?

Hang a dead one in the front yard.

Myspace.

Yes, I AM a girl, thanks for asking!
#163
Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.

And

It was katies birthday tomorrow

"Guess how old I'm going to be tomorrow!" she yelled to her dad.

"Don't know" he replied, playing along.

"I'll be six!" she replied.

She went into the kitchen and asked her grandad, "guess how old I'll be tomorrow!"

"To answer this I'll need to pull down your knickers." he says.

So Katie lets him do this. Her grandad inserts two fingers into her cunt, moves them around for a few minutes, pulls them out, sniffs, then licks them.

"You'll be six tomorrow" Grandad says.

"How did you know that?" replies Katie.

"Because I heard you saying it to your dad" was the reply.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#168
Q: Have you ever seen a jew parachute to the ground?
A: *ashes cigarette*

what do you say to a black guy in a three peice suit?
will the defendant please rise

what do you call a black guy going to harvard?
a n*gger.

why do white people go to black peoples garage sales?
to get their stuff back

etc etc
^
#169
Why does Michael Jackson go to Wal-Mart?

Kids pants are half off.
Member of the 'Guitarists Born In 1991' Club. PM Greendayguitar, gdm09 or blues_rocker to join.

-Gibson LP Classic
-Fender American Standard Strat
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-Peavey XXX w/Marshall Cab
#171
What do you call white stuff coming down a mountain?
Avalance!

What do you call black stuff coming down a mountain?
Jailbreak!

Why are black peoples hands white?
So are police cars!


i dont mean any of these, there just jokes ive heard passed around the halls. dam rascists
Quote by The Leader
You know what they found in Jeffrey Dahmers freezer?
...Ben and Jerry (ba dum bum psh)


Quote by ninemonthmedia
if there was a metal jail, Metallica would be Pantera’s bitch



RIP Kurt Cobain
RIP Dimebag Darrell
Burn in hell Nathan Gale
#172
What was the last thing Kurt Said to Courtney?

Holes gonna be huge
Bass Player
#175
How did Hellen Keller break her fingers?


She tried to yell for help while falling down the stairs.
#176
Taken from Ebaum's World...


Mike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown."

Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you OK??" In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?"

The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown." Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around!'"

Buttsecks?
Quote by steven seagull
There are no boring scales, just boring guitarists.

Quote by convictionless
dude calebrocker, that first song on your list almost made me cry
11/10
you win my good sir

^ My For Mom cover

Check out my MP3s!!
#178
Q. What did the black kid get for christmas?
A. Your Bike

Q. Whats the difference between a black person and bucket full of ****?
A. The Bucket

Q. Why should you never throw rocks at a black guys car?
A. Could be yours
#179
There was a family with a mother, father, daughter and son. One day the family was in a serious car accident, and the mother was severely injured. Later, the family of the mother was in the waiting room at the hospital, waiting to see how their mother was doing. The doctor came out and he gave the family the news with a sad look on his face. The father said "My god, is my wife ok?". The doctor answered " No, she when you got hit by the other car, your wife was instantly paralized from the waist down. This means she will no longer be able to move her legs, walk or run. Life will never be the same with your wife paralized. You may still be able to have good family moments like when you and your family used to walk on the beach or play catch in the park. And i am terribly sorry. The husband and children started to get tears in their eyes, then the husband asked, " My God doctor, is this really true, is it true my wife is permanently paralized and she will never be able to walk again?"

The doctor answered, "No, I was just playin with ya"

The doctor contiues " She's dead."
Quote by steven seagull
There are no boring scales, just boring guitarists.

Quote by convictionless
dude calebrocker, that first song on your list almost made me cry
11/10
you win my good sir

^ My For Mom cover

Check out my MP3s!!
#180
Quote by schecter1971
Why does Michael Jackson go to Wal-Mart?

Kids pants are half off.



That one made piss meself...
Quote by frusciante_man1
cakemonster..you are truly my hero
HONK
Quote by DeSean
HONK!I like your cake.
Quote by olif8
And Cakeface, why didn't you sig my

HONK!

from that other thread?


Quote by LordBishek

I can't stand it any longer.


HONK


Honk if you love cake! HONK!!
#181
What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?

I believe you?re in my son.


Knock knock

Who's there?

Little boy blue

Little boy blue who?

Michael Jackson.
Quote by frusciante_man1
cakemonster..you are truly my hero
HONK
Quote by DeSean
HONK!I like your cake.
Quote by olif8
And Cakeface, why didn't you sig my

HONK!

from that other thread?


Quote by LordBishek

I can't stand it any longer.


HONK


Honk if you love cake! HONK!!
#182
What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics?

Walking.


What did the deaf, blind, mute, parapalegic child get for christmas?

Cancer.
President of the Guitarists Born In 1991 Club. PM blues rocker or I to join

Quote by RadioHead22
I love you greendayguitar
In a non- gay, awkward-man-hug way
#183
how do you keep an emo kid from drowning?

take your boot of the back of his head
WHY DON'T YOU CONSULT EROWID FIRST?
Quote by doggy_hat
It's sad how the love drug is corrupted with so much bullshit
#185
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fuck off.

ooh oh, wait... Alright, So there was this ****ing **** face **** mouth who ****ted coffee and ****ing ****ed the whole mother****ing **** and cocked his mouth and then we made sandwiches together.
You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to, so when they turn their back on you, you get a chance to put the knife in.
Last edited by Pink_Floyd89 at Sep 16, 2006,
#186
Michael Jackson is just a joke now. He's not even a joke, he's just a punch line now. Examples.


Why did the chicken cross the road?
Michael Jackson

Knock knock
who's there?
Michael Jackson

Why is the sky blue?
Michale Jackson.
President of the Guitarists Born In 1991 Club. PM blues rocker or I to join

Quote by RadioHead22
I love you greendayguitar
In a non- gay, awkward-man-hug way
#187
Quote by sral76

If a black man, a mexican and a chinese man all jump off a cliff at the same time who wins?
Society


lol

What do you yell at a black guy riding a bike?

Thief!
Quote by DieGarbageMan
can i get a tl;dr up in this bitch?

A mod makes a joke and hi-jacks a thread...

Quote by paintITblack39
usually, this is often discussed in the political threads ...

let's change the question: are you pro or antti niemi?
Last edited by Metalology at Sep 16, 2006,
#190
Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he's black and i punched him
Quote by Dirtydeeds468
People don't like Dave Mustaine because he created something that owned Metallica in just about every single aspect of thrash metal.


it's true
#191
Quote by THE JEWISH AFRO
So three queers are sitting in a hottub when a bubble of sperm floats to the top... one says "hey who farted?"


I heard a joke just like that last year:

What do a bunch of gay guys sitting in a hot tub say when a condom floats up?

"Who farted?"
#192
Quote by greendayguitar
Michael Jackson is just a joke now. He's not even a joke, he's just a punch line now. Examples.


Why did the chicken cross the road?
Michael Jackson

Knock knock
who's there?
Michael Jackson

Why is the sky blue?
Michale Jackson.

dude that actually made me laugh !
#193
Quote by MotleyCrueSATD
maybe if you had one youd realize that this thread is non serious, go post somewhere else if you dont like them and dont tell us crap we dont care about.

Although I'm enjoying this thread very much I think he has the right to complain if he's black, jewish, or a dead baby because this stuff is really offensive, especially if you're a dead baby...
#197
Quote by cakemonster91
What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?

I believe you?re in my son.


HAHAHAHA!!!!
Sigged!!!!
#198
How many UG users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Provide an answer.
You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to, so when they turn their back on you, you get a chance to put the knife in.
#199
7.

One to screw the lightbulb in.
One to make chuck norris jokes.
One to ask if his girfriend is pregnant.
One to complain about the mosquito banner.
One to complain about the sept. 06ers.
One to complain about everything.
And me, to clean up the blood after retarded UGer number one has sex with the lightbulb on a dare.
#200
7.

One to screw the lightbulb in.
One to make chuck norris jokes.
One to complain about the mosquito banner.
One to ask if his girfriend is pregnant.
One to complain about the sept. 06ers.
One to complain about everything.
And me, to clean up the blood after retarded UGer number one has sex with the lightbulb on a dare.


You forgot the one who is needed to say "this is the wrong forum", so that's really 8.
Jackson DKMG & KE3, Fender Mexican Strat, Stagg Acoustic

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