#1
This reads sappy but what do you all think


when the sun goes down,
where the lights rays catch ur eyes and shine
and the darkness hides the shadows of the day
As the moon shines its rays on the ocean below
the sound of crashing waves
and all else is silent except the beating of ur heart


CHORUS: And i know its gunna be alright
Be alright now
With you by my side
Its gunna be alright now

your arms the only place i wanna be
nothing else matters 'cept that one moment
couldnt let u go even if i tried

CHORUS
Last edited by jet121 at Sep 10, 2006,
#3
loved it!
imagery was great!
im guessing u wrote this thinking of sum1 very special to u?
great song, keep up the great work!
Quote by MarchOfEternity
Oh, and azza, you're a pretty good writer! Graybass is a god amongst men and you're turning real quick to be his new messiah lol.

Quote by graybass_20x6
You're doing good, mate.

Keep up the good work.

I'll take A for $500, Alex.
#4
Quote by bloodhound_tm
Two Problems:

1. Very Short
2. doesn't really fit together all that well


no1 can be extended quite easily
no2 the way i read it fitted together quite nicely
Quote by MarchOfEternity
Oh, and azza, you're a pretty good writer! Graybass is a god amongst men and you're turning real quick to be his new messiah lol.

Quote by graybass_20x6
You're doing good, mate.

Keep up the good work.

I'll take A for $500, Alex.
#5
your right about it being short but i always find that leaves room for a instrumental solo or something. wld u be able to tell why it didnt fit together mayb so it cld be fixed? which parts would be a real help
#6
I agree that was to short but you did state that you left room for inprovement. I don't find the last verse appealing like the others. I would just stay at it like you told me to do.