#1
Tis in earlyish stage....thanks for any comments.


I believe that people cannot sleep,
Until they believe,
The truth about themselves,
But in reality,
They cannot see,
The Sight beyond their nose,

And in front of me,
A mystery,
The devils riddle will never be solved


And where?s the boy, with a bucket on his head?
A dance for a jig,
A pray for a swig,
And a tombstone to confirm he?s dead.

Oh yes, the devils riddle will never be solved.

I believe, that people cannot feel,
Until they believe,
Wounds are made to heal,
But in reality,
They only see,
Want and Opportunity!

And open my eyes,
Laced with lies,
The devils riddle will never be solved,

And where?s the house, the bad wolf blew it down,
A scream for a smile,
A tramp lives in style,
And a poster to get outta of town.

YES! The devils riddle aint gonna be solved.

I believe, that people cannot live,
Until they believe,
Air isn?t needed to breathe,
But in reality,
The Human Body,
Is just the box to leave,

And leave me here,
For unending years,
The devils riddle will never be solved.

And where?s the sins? Of the Nuns dressed in Black?
A key is at hand,
Left Buried in the sand,
And a rope to get your mind back.

No. The devils riddle will never be solved.
#3
"ain't" does not suit the piece, change that, I suggest.

I felt that at some points it got a bit too vague. I also would have rather you stuck with "eternal riddle" throughout th epiece, rather than "devils riddle", because for me that added more confusion to the piece.

Overall, this was an interesting read, with both good and bad points about it.

Jamie

My latest is in my sig, if you could get to that. Many thanks.